#All her Christmasses came at once

[crazyhickofftheirrocker]

Will never be over the look on Lisa's face when Carla makes a move.

Woman has "😳 am I dreaming?" written all over it and it's wrapped around my soul

[monstertreden]

ˎˊ˗ STARK REALITY ˎˊ˗

-Reader: GN reader (It can be either platonic or romantic) -TW: Angst to the core (I suppose it is somewhat bittersweet) -Character: Rodimus Prime (Transformers series) -Summary: Lately, the captain of the Lost Light had begun neglecting his own responsibilities, anchoring himself to his berth... -Word count : 1489 A/N: I'm dropping this before christmass hell yeahw 🔔 I started to work on this after me and my friend joked about Rodimus using Gen Z slang 💀💀

“Rodimus- I swear to Primus-‘m thryng…mhh to…sleep, one more metal-crushing hug and I’ll throw you out of the ship...”

“Hey hey heyyy slow down there pretty, how could you ever blame me?? Damn, you don’t know how HARD is to keep my servos all to myself when I know you feel sooo nice snuggled in my arms like this” There he was, once again, sprawled in his room on his berth, venting softly in the quiet intimacy of the moment. He had his servo draped around his sparkmate’s waist, holding them close. That menace of a bot curled his lips into a playful pout, resting his chin lightly on their helm as he let out a theatrical sigh “You’re always a party pooper”.

In response, the other bot chuckled, shaking their helm at his antics “Me? Shouldn’t YOU be more responsible instead? I’m starting to think that all this Prime thing has gone over your helm...”

"NUH UH now-… alright, maybe just a little...What can I say? On one servo I must tend to my responsibilities as a Prime…" He grinned, his tone becoming lighter as he added with exaggerated flair "Buttt on the other hand… it’s poggers."

His sparkmate groaned audibly, immediately cringing at his elegant choice of words. Yet, they couldn’t expect much else from him—though they still, somehow, managed to have some faith in this lovable fool. “Never. Never say that again.” Exasperated, they buried their faceplate deeper into his plating, slapping his chassis. "I don’t want to hear any more slang you’ve picked up from those fleshies on Earth" they grumbled. “It’s horrible”

A laugh vibrated through his frame, as he squeezed them closer. "Aww, c’mon! It’s totally poggers! You love it," he said, his grin widening. Despite the banter, the comfort between them was unmistakable, their connection stronger than any playful jabs or groggy protests.

"Ughhh, now I completely understand Ultra Magnus," they groaned, their voice dripping with dramatic exasperation as they shifted slightly in his arms.

That remark struck Rodimus right in his spark. With a mock gasp of offense, he clutched at his chassis dramatically, as though they’d just delivered a fatal blow. "Comparing yourself to that old cranky bot?? No way at all!! No way I’m letting you transform into a copy of him!" he retorted, his voice rising in playful indignation as he held her closer, his optics still closed with a cheeky grin spreading across his lips, his tone dropping into teasing. "You’re way cuter, pff" Sticking out his glossa he squeezed them for emphasis like a kid would do with their comfort plushie. "And, most importantly” he continued with a mock-serious tone “you don’t have a stick up your aft like he does, I mean, I can still come to you when I ‘forget’ to report a report."

"You certainly are a pain in the aft," they muttered, though their tone carried no real annoyance.

Pleased with himself, he nuzzled against them like an overgrown turbo-puppy. "Yeah, but you love me anyway, ah" His voice brimming with that unshakable, shameless confidence he always brought with him, a complete package.

Surrendering to Rodimus's behavior, they gently caressed the sides of his faceplate, making him melt in their servos. All pretense of bravado slipped away as his guard came completely down. He curled against them like a small kitten seeking warmth, his frame humming softly in contentment. He was a sucker for cuddles and they both knew it, always seeking comfort in the other's presence, content just by being close to them, helm on top of where their spark resided. “You look silly sleep talking with me with your optics closed shut”.

“’Cause you’re reallyy pretty y’know? Your prettiness can easily blind me, babygirl” What a buffoon he was, but a lovable one, through and through. For them, he would act even stupider, just to hear them laugh, it always sent warm waves to his spark, a steady reminder of why he cherished those moments dearly.

“Rodimus. Prime.” They began, laughing “Let me go!!, I swear I’ll suffocate at this rate in your grasp”

"Nooooo... “ He whined dramatically, like a sparkling throwing a tantrum, yet his loopy grin remained unaltered ” I don't want to let go. I want you close to me."

“I know that you dumb idiot, but you've been in your room for cycles!” Their voice took a softer tone “They need you too, y’know, more than me right now.”

He froze at their words, his systems reacting instantly. His grip tightened instinctively, reluctant to part from their embrace. An unnerving silence settled over them for a moment before his sparkmate murmured, "I’m sorry." They interlocked their digits with his, a gesture that made Rodimus shudder slightly as his shoulders hunched, savoring the warmth of their touch.

" You don’t have to apologize. It's not your fault. I just... I just miss you. I yearn for your touch, warmth, and presence every day” His voice filled with a mix of grief, affection, and longing. “Would you stay for another minute...please?"

He felt their servo come to rest gently over his spark, the warmth of their touch cutting through the storm in his processor. Their voice, soft and soothing, broke through his thoughts. "We both know it’s not healthy" they said, concern threading through their tone.

"I know, doll. I know. But sometimes... Sometimes I just wish I could forget all of that and just hold onto this moment forever."

He let out a sigh, knowing deep down that they were right. He knew he couldn't cope with all of this by isolating himself and reliving memories forever. But letting go was easier said than done, it was too much to bear. How long had he been isolating himself from everything and everyone? Cycles, surely, but it felt like an eternity. The silence of the room, once their sanctuary, now felt suffocating.  Deep down he wanted to break free from this opulent room, but he was holding back, his spark too heavy to simply get up and go on with his day.

"…. but it's just so difficult to move on when I still miss you so much. Every time I look at a room we used to share, it feels like a part of me in my spark dies inside."

There was a moment of steady silence, that made Rodimus feel insecure as he held his breath, as if they were not there until they spoke again.

“I know you keep my chair tidy, but..why don't you just store it away?”

His optics flickered at their words, a faint glimmer betraying the emotions he tried to keep hidden. His grip on their forearms tightened, trembling slightly as if bracing himself against a tide, he stammered, a sour smile on his faceplate.

"I-I  keep your chair tidy because it reminds me of you... of our time together. It's the last thing I have that was truly yours,and.. and throwing it away, moving it out of my sight... it would be like throwing away a part of you."

The confession tumbled out all at once, his tone cracking as he finally admitted the truth aloud. Rodimus paused to recollect himself. His vents hitched, and for a moment, the silence was deafening.

"I know it's foolish, everyone said that..I didn’t mean to lash out at them- but I can't bring myself to discard it-It’s- it’s not just a chair- It's like a silent promise that you'll come back one day.."

He confessed, his voice expressing both grief and frustration. That day, someone had dared to comment on the empty chair, an offhand remark that ignited something volatile within him. He hadn’t taken it well, his usual lightheartedness replaced by an uncharacteristic intensity that even he didn’t fully understand. The chaos in his mind was interrupted by an almost forgotten sensation, their servo, warm and steady, gently guiding his own to rest over their spark... A fresh wave of emotions crashed over him. He knew they were right, that he couldn't stay in this state forever. But the thought of letting go, of moving on, felt like a physical ache in his circuitry. “I’ll always be there, somehow-“

Tears started to prickle his optics* "I..I can’t, I really can’t"

“Listen to me..” They gently turned his faceplate towards hers, servos cradling his faceplate with utter care “You can do it, for me, for you..for us.”

“You still have lots to do, captain.” They soon added, he could feel them cracking a smile at him. “My captain”

Oh, how he wanted to look at their smile once again, yet he kept his optics shut, his spark aching. He knew they were right, that he had his duties as captain to attend to, a crew that needed him to be more than this hollow husk of himself. But moving forward felt impossible, But for them? He’d do anything, he’d tear the Matrix from his chest, give every piece of himself if it meant keeping his promise to them alive. He would try, he’ll try for them, to move on and carry on his duties as captain, even though letting go felt like ripping out a piece of his spark…

Minutes passed and when he felt nothing more against his faceplate that’s when he opened his tired optics, confronted with the stark reality that they were no longer there, his room was empty and cold. The weight of everything crashed down on him and his spark ached with a deep consuming sorrow. He couldn’t stay there anymore, rotting on the berth.

“For you, for me… for us…”

He repeated this as a mantra, slowly getting up from their once-shared berth, fuelled by the love he felt for them and the desire to make them proud. As he got up, his helm felt heavy, he stood there for a moment, brushing his digits against the edge of the berth. Opening the door of his room, he stepped a pede out, the dim lights of the corridors of the Lost Light welcomed him back.

“I promise, watch me.”

---------------

[floriantheflowereater]

You'll light up everybody's faces, and babe, you know the time has come.

For the @bucktommywinterfest prompt: first [winter holiday/tradition] together and/or clothes sharing

Rating: Teen (mild sex and abuse references)

Title from Michael Bublé's "The Christmas Sweater"

Just a silly little thing about ugly sweater competitions and dressing your boyfriend up :)

Christmases in the Kinard house were almost always the same: His mom spending hours in the kitchen; his dad getting drunk and yelling non-stop until he passed out; Tommy, his sister Kathy, and their mom sneaking off to exchange their own gifts. The weeks leading up to Christmas, however, were different. Nicer. Decorating the house, sneaking off in the mall to buy gifts without the recipient noticing, listening to the same tape they'd had so long the label was missing its ink. Tommy's favourite, though, was the sweater competition.

They'd all make the ugliest sweaters imaginable, Nonna would help them embroider them, and have a competition to see who's was the worst. They always tied, their grandparents not wanting to choose between the three. When Nonna's arthritis got bad, Tommy learnt how to embroider on his own - which his dad was less than pleased about.

His first winter in the army he managed to scrounge up a needle and thread, and patched up an old shirt. Kathy had called it 'sweater-adjacent' in her letter. But he still participated, even from halfway across the world.

Over the years, the arrangements changed. After their parent's divorce, their mom didn't really celebrate anything, so Tommy and Kathy tried to keep it alive themselves. After the pandemic, they were reduced to video calls with Kathy's kids as the judges, uncle Tommy winning most times because of favouritism.

This year's sweater was lime green, covered in embroidered baubles and stars, with working lights shining through the holes that Tommy had cut . The lights were multicoloured - a cacophony of red, green, yellow and blue - clashing with the sweater. When Evan saw it, he jokingly covered his eyes.

Tommy had never spent Christmas with a significant other before. There was one time, when his "best friend" came over when he was younger, but occasionally making out with a guy under the bleachers doesn't really qualify as dating. Him and Abby both pulled Christmas shifts, knowing just how busy it gets over the holidays. But now he had Evan.

When Evan had asked Tommy about Christmas traditions, it was clear he wasn't expecting any from his childhood. Evan had told him about Christmas growing up with the Buckley's, about how it was very put together. Nothing personal, nothing particularly fun. Just a green tree, with red and gold decorations, and those blindingly white string lights. The stockings were all the same, and no house other than the living room got decorated. Evan had also never owned a christmas sweater.

"What do you mean you've never owned a Christmas sweater?" Tommy asked incredulously. "There is no way you've had 33 christmasses and not once worn a sweater. Not even a nice one?" Evan thought for a minute, before answering "We wore red ones! Well, mine was a sweater and Maddie's was a cardigan, but still!" Tommy rolled his eyes, and told Evan to stay before running up to the bedroom.

He came back with a large crocheted sweater, made of thick, navy blue wool, and pulled it over Evan's head. There were a bunch of novelty baubles hanging off of it, firetrucks and dinosaurs and a... Jar of pickles? Buck tried to crane his head around to see the back but Tommy's hands on his face stopped him.

"This was my entry for 2017. Kathy won, but I did get a pity vote from her eldest because I could fly. It suits you." Tommy smiled, before kissing the grin off of Evan's face. He pulled the sleeves over his hands, and brought his hands up to Tommy's face. The wool felt itchy, but not unpleasant, like the beard burn that coated his thighs.

Tommy broke the kiss after Evan flicked the switch on his lights. "Look, you turned me on," He said with a flirty smirk. Buck broke down laughing, slapping Tommy in the chest lightly. "You're such a dork, babe." They kissed again, short and sweet. "You love it" Tommy's grin was up to his eyes, nearly obscuring his vision. He brought his hands to Evan's hips, swaying them back and forth. Buck's eyes were fixed on his lips, a matching smile on his face. "I really do."

When it came time for the competition, Tommy pulled Evan into view of the camera, introducing him to the kids. Kathy's husband never dressed up - not out of malice but because he ran too hot for sweaters - so Tommy got bonus points for getting his man to join in. The kids reassured their dad that he would've won anyways, the lime green was much worse than the hot pink one their mom wore.

The call ended after a few hours, Kathy's phone battery was nearly out and they'd ran out of things to talk about anyway. Buck had ran off to the kitchen, to bake gingerbread for the houses him and Jee would assemble tomorrow. When Tommy entered the kitchen, the first thing he noted was the strong scent of ginger in the air.

Evan was bent over the counter, carefully cutting out dough according to his parchment pattern. Tommy wrapped his arms around him, pulling him back up to kiss behind his ear. "Please tell me I can dress you up next year?" He whispered quietly, smile audible even then. Buck turned in his arms, and wrapped his own around Tommy's shoulders. "As long as they're your clothes, you can put me in whatever you want."

[kureis-writing-hell]

Make it work

Ed wakes up alone, but the bed is warm and the mansion smells with coffee and burned wood. He goes to find people who left him alone in the bed.

I told you so! I told you I will finally deliver OT4 with those crazy people! Just a drabble, an estabilished poly relationship. Ed's POV during a lazy winter morning.

Ed/Oswald/Jim/Lee, 1578 words. Finde me on ao3 too! @ Kurei16

Side note: everyone is involved romantically, except for Lee and Oswald, since Oswald is gay.

*

The bed was still warm.

It was tough to maintain the temperature in a bed big enough to contain four people when only one was left sleeping in it. Ed knew it. He quickly deduced that someone - most likely Lee since she also liked to sleep in on her free days - had to get up not too long ago. Ed opened his eyes and squinted at the clock on one of the night stands. It was still quite early but everyone was out of bed and so he wasn’t about to be left behind.

He grabbed his glasses, tossed his green robe over his shoulders and pushed his new slippers on his feet. For a few seconds he looked down at them, still somehow salty about the way they looked. Yes, they were soft, yes, they were warm, perfect for the cold, winter days. But the fact they looked like big, dinosaur feet was so ridiculous. Every time he looked at them Ed cursed the day he slipped to Jim about being a dinosaur kind of kid.

Yet he still smirked at the Christmass gift the other man got him.

Ed left the room and walked towards the stairs. A radio was playing somewhere downstairs, probably in the kitchen, and he could smell freshly made coffee and burning wood already. The mansion never smelled like that on a daily basis. Oswald didn’t know and didn’t bother to learn how to make use of the coffee express, so Ed always had to make a cup by himself. And no one ever had time to light the fireplace and then clean it up.

Immediately, Ed moved his feet towards the kitchen. He stood in the door and watched Lee, back turned toward him, throwing some sugar in her cup. She was wearing her own robe, black with silver lines around the edges, her hair still messy.

They didn’t live together. Lee and Jim had to be close to their work, in any case, while Oswald opted on a calmer place outside of the city. Here he could focus on being the leader, rather than risking himself in action. Still, he would take long roads to his Lounge more often than not, to supervise it. Ed knew it’s all about the sentimentality of his. Yes, it would be a lot easier and logical to just find an apartment in the city, but Oswald didn’t want to give up his father’s home.

And, honestly, it came useful. The relationship the four of them shared was still, somehow, a secret. Had to be, for the sake of everyone involved. The mansion was perfect for meetings, for “family visits”, for spending time together.

“Oh.” Lee turned around and spotted him. She didn’t seem surprised, already used to how Ed always sneaked up on everyone. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”

“You didn’t.” Ed shook his head. She really had to just wake up a moment before him.

The woman smiled, then pointed at the coffee machine.

“Want some? Just finished warming it up.”

Sometimes Ed could feel a terrible pang of jealousness, mostly in moments like those. He wished Oswald would make him a coffee in the morning the same way Jim did it for Lee. So Ed could come down hours after Oswald got to work, warm it up and dwell on the fact that the powerful Penguin did something so simple for him every day.

But then, Oswald tried it once. Edward was the one that banned him from ever using the coffee machine again.

“Yes, please,” he sighed, answering to Lee. He entered the kitchen and leaned against one of the counters, while the woman poured him a cup as well. Just the way he liked. “How long are they up now?”

“The coffee was cold, so I assume at least two hours.”

They would have to wake up around seven am. Ed rolled his eyes.

“Are they aware they don’t have to work today? What’s the rush with waking up?”

“I don’t get it either,” laughed Lee, just slightly, and handed Ed his cup. She left a soft peck on his cheek and moved to leave the kitchen. “They’re in the living room.”

“Of course they are.”

Ed sipped on the hot coffee and followed her.

They began blending their separate relationships into one over a half year ago. It was, surprisingly, so easy. Came to them so naturally. At first, of course, Ed was jealous. Mostly about Jim. He was somehow, even, scared, just a tiny bit. He knew how much Oswald crushed on the cop all those years ago when they first met. He knew how deeply in love with him Lee was. So, Ed feared that now he’s going to be moved aside by them all, because why would they need an awkward, crazy nerd like him around. But they didn’t. Not only that. They were all into him, too. In a widely different ways, sure, but Ed still kept finding comfort in that thought.

Even despite how well they worked with each other, there were still so many baffling things about this situation. How fast it progressed, as if it was like this forever, since the day they first looked at each other. How good it felt to be touched by Lee, after being stabbed by her. The way Jim looked at him. Oswald and Lee being able to talk and argue and banter for hours without Oswald getting mad at her. But all those things quickly lost the weirdness, became their daily life, something that would feel weird if it vanished now.

Yet one thing still baffled Ed, just a little. Seeing the commissioner and the violent King of Gotham, cuddled together on a chair, both reading the same newspaper, both wearing their robes and acting like they didn’t have a history of trying to kill and imprison each other.

The fireplace was bathing the room in a cozy, warm air, and it was only heightened by the thick snow falling outside of the windows. Jim’s empty cup of coffee was standing on the coffee table, of course without the cup coaster. Jim, himself, was sitting on one of the plush armchairs, one arm around Oswald’s back, holding the newspaper. Oswald was sitting on his lap, right leg propped up a little, towards the warmth of the fireplace. His nose was stuck in an article, eyes skipping through the text, and he looked focused on whatever the content was. Jim, on the other hand, was looking at him, eyebrows lifted high, as if waiting for something.

Finally Jim moved, to turn the pages, and Oswald made an annoyed sound. He huffed, grabbed Jim’s hand and glared at him.

“I haven't finished yet,” he said with annoyance, and Ed quickly realized it’s not the first time Jim tried to turn the pages without being allowed to first.

“Can’t you read faster?”

“I know it may be a surprising concept for you, Jim, but I like to understand what I’m reading.”

Jim rolled his eyes, which made Oswald huff at him again, and then spotted Lee and Ed, still standing in the door. Oswald noticed his look and turned around as well.

“Oh, hello, did you two sleep well?” He reacted first, smiling widely. Jim smiled too, more timid than Oswald, as he always did. In a way that made him look like smiling like a regular person would physically hurt him.

“Yeah, thanks.” Lee smiled and moved inside the room first. “When did you two wake up?”

“Around five,” answered Jim, exchanging a kiss with her on her way to the couch. “But we napped here for a bit.”

“Isn’t there a better place for that, like, I don’t know, a bed?” huffed Ed, watching Lee put a cup coaster under Jim’s and her’s cup. Some of his jealousness sipped out. Always sleeping the longest meant that he usually woke up alone. But he deserved some cuddles too.

“We didn’t want to wake you two up.” This time Oswald rolled his eyes and Jim nodded. Ed pursued his lips, pouting for a moment before Oswald waved at him to come closer. He did.

Oswald gave him a morning kiss, which Ed took as an apology for the lack of cuddles. He finally smiled, turned his head just a little when they parted and felt another kiss, in the corner of his lips. He looked at Jim, Jim looked at him. Ed turned more, to give Jim a proper kiss, albeit way more chaste than the one he exchanged with Oswald.

Only after getting his morning dose of affections Ed walked to the couch and sat by Lee. He put his cup on another coaster. Almost immediately Lee leaned against him, sighing and closing her eyes with a smile.

Not long after Oswald and Jim broke their cuddle pile. Oswald swore a little, keeping his hand on his bad leg - the weather most likely impacting the pain - and Jim offered him his hand. A year ago Oswald would bite off the hand of anyone, even Ed’s, who offered him help with walking. Now, he took it and let Jim lead him to the couch, to the other two people that shared their crazy bond.

It was tough to get comfortable with four people trying to cuddle with each other on a couch. But they had a lot of experience by now. And they made it work.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

A Dead Feeling Lingers - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Words: 2517

Bradley wants answers

It was as if he awoke from a dream. He came back to his childhood living room slightly out of breath. Such a painful end, and especially when he was so proud of himself for finally trusting his instincts.

"Oh, honey, it's never easy remembering," his mom said. "Take your time."

She stroked a tear from his cheek. His dad's hand on his back grounded him. He took slow, deliberate breaths despite not needing to breathe anymore. A feeling like he was falling slowly dissipated. He was home now, finally.

"It was just so…" he couldn’t think of the word to describe such a tragedy. "-so painful"

"The explosion, the cold, my head-"

He felt the back of his skull but only felt his gentle curls. Thank goodness for whoever decided not to keep you exactly how you died once you reached the afterlife. With the state he'd been in, he’d be forever on the verge of tears.

His dad held his hand, his top lip trembling as a film of remembrance covered his eyes. Why did Bradshaws have to die so horrifically, and so young? Were they cursed or something?

As he ran through the events in his head again, he realised something didn't align. The last thing he saw had been hopeful. Mav had made contact with the ship, they'd got a rendezvous point. His family had given him a second chance at life so why was he here?

"Wait, you guys kept me alive, Mav was going to get help, why-"

"Why did you still die then?" His dad asked. "We were asking the same thing."

His mom added, averting her eyes,  "That's why we were so surprised you were here, we tried so hard for you to get a chance to live, but it seems it was all for nought."

He had to get answers. Why was he still here? It wasn’t fair. He had so much to do and places to go, who decided it was his time to go?

Darting up from his seat, he began to pace around the room. His hand stroked his chin as he went over and over every inch of his memories. Perhaps he'd missed something. Perhaps he wasn't meant to be here. He could be in a coma, that could explain it. Yet, there was something, an inkling in the back of his head that told him otherwise. 

"Bradley, why don't you sit down, pondering it won't change the outcome," his dad said. "Trust me, I've tried."

"It doesn't make sense," he cried. "None of it makes sense."

His family looked on, concerned. They'd been dead for longer than he had. Their deaths made some logical sense, his didn't. Which meant there was only one thing for it. 

"I need to go back."

Ice shook his head, "Bradley, you can't, I know it's distressing but-"

"No," his dad said. "There is a way."

Their focus went to him. He'd been dead the longest. He should know everything there was to know about being dead.

"Sometimes, through my own choice or not, I got to go back, for birthdays, Christmasses, anything special really. Maybe we could do that, just to see what's happened back in the land of the living."

"You really think we can do it?" He asked.

With a shrug, his dad said, "It's worth a try."

Bradley sat back down on the coffee table and tried not to stare too hard at his dad. He took his hands, then his mom's, who held Ice's, and closed his eyes. Bradley followed. Taking deep breaths, he couldn't help but think of how he'd died in the snow.

"Think of where you want to go," his dad explained.

Maverick's face floated in his hand. He latched onto it. His tears when he found him, his sobs when he thought he'd died, how red he got when he lugged him across the foreign wilderness. He needed to see if he was okay just as much as he needed to see if he'd died.

And in an instant, he found himself in a lonely hospital room. His parents and Ice crowded behind him, he heard them gasp as they saw Bradley's physical body.

His eyes fell onto his own unconscious form. There were machines all around. Something was monitoring his heartbeat, it was steady and didn't falter. Almost artificial. His breathing was steady too. The respirator clicked on the inhale and clicked on the exhale. 

Tubes came in and out of his body. An IV bag on one side, a blood bag on the other and a bag full of yellowish fluid, connected to what he realised was a catheter, that made him shiver. Thick bandages covered his charred hair. Casts covered his legs and hips. 

None of him looked natural. There was a strong absence of scent in the room. Despite the curtains being wide open, there seemed to be a severe lack of light. The damp mood of the room turned everything grey.

Then his eyes moved to the only other thing, or rather person, in the room. Maverick. He held Bradley's hand in a tight grip. There were large bags under his watery red eyes. The lines on his face were deeper as he sat in his desperate mood. 

His breathing was surprisingly calm. Everything about him was just as artificially still as Bradley. He was a statue in the chair next to the bed, the look in his eyes seemed as dead as Bradley was.

"Oh, Mav," his dad said, trying to lay a hand on his shoulder but going through him.

He could see on his dad's face that this was difficult and Bradley realised he'd done this many times before. Life as a ghost could be lonely, he guessed. Floating around and having to watch the people he loved hurt over him again and again would kill him if he wasn't already dead.

Then the door opened but Mav didn't move his head. It was as if he took his eyes off Bradley for a second, he'd slip away from him. 

"How is he?" Phoenix said.

The rest of the crew from the dagger mission trailed in. None of them came in with much urgency or surprise. They held the same glum look that Mav did, which told Bradley that he'd been in this bed for a while.

"The same," Mav replied. "They did another scan earlier, the results should be back soon."

"Let's hope for good news, then."

There weren't enough chairs for all twelve of them, and he was almost certain that having this many visitors wasn't allowed, but none of this was stopping any of them from staying. 

He couldn’t help but wonder what their reactions had been upon seeing him. None of them would've heard Mav's signal, they were never told anything other than what they exactly needed to know. Maybe they were happy he was alive, although his state now would lead to much disappointment. Maybe they were sickened and distraught at how bloody he was and the state Maverick would've been in.

He walked around Maverick, to look at his friends. Phoenix's eyes were red and her cheeks splotchy, she lay her head on Bob's shoulder as Halo lay her head on her's. Hangman was hunched over, occasionally making glances at Bradley but never quite looking fully. Coyote rested his head on his and closed his eyes. Most of the rest of them were scattered in similar forms of disarray, fatigued and forlorn.

Someone else came into the room. A doctor, in blue scrubs, held some kind of clipboard and scanned the platitude of people. She shook her head with a smile, choosing to ignore how many people there were.

"Well, Captain Mitchell-" she nodded at the rest of the aviators. "-and others, we've had the scan back and there's both good and bad news."

Maverick jolted up. The room seemed a bit lighter.

"Good news first,"

She rearranged some papers on her clipboard, "Well, from what the scan showed, his condition hasn't gotten any worse."

"That is good," Bob said.

"Does this mean he'll wake up? Is he going to get better?" Maverick spoke with a spark of hope in his voice.

There was a sparkle in his dull eyes. His age showed less on his face. Bradley had the idea that this was the only thing he was hanging on for.

"I didn't say that," the doctor said. "He hasn't gotten any worse but he has not improved either."

He slumped against his chair and regripped Bradley's hand with both of his. His body was unaware of all this. As still as a statue on that bed.

"But he's still alive," Maverick pleaded.

"Only because he's on life support."

The doctor turned her eyes to her clipboard. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes, preparing herself to say something.

"This news is never easy to say, but, Captain Mitchell, Bradley is brain dead." She said. "His condition hasn't worsened because it can't, his life support keeps everything working but without it, there's just nothing that will keep him alive, there's no signals naturally occurring in his brain to make it so"

"I'm so sorry," she said.

Maverick's head fell in his hands. His breathing went shaky as his body trembled.

"So, he’s going to die?" Phoenix asked.

"He won't while on life support, but off it, he will die," the doctor said. "This isn't like when someone's unlikely to wake up from a coma, Bradley won't wake up."

Mav peeked through his fingers, "So I've got to pull the plug?"

"You don't have to, he can stay like this, but you have to know that he won't wake up," 

She held the clipboard under one arm and sighed, "I'll give you some time to think."

Leaving the room, the rest of the crew shuffled around. Bob gulped and got up, hesitantly heading toward Mav like he was a rabid dog.

"Should we give you some time, sir?" 

Maverick nodded. The group headed for the door, their spirits dampened. Someone let out a whine when they reached the hallway, from what he heard, it sounded like Fanboy.

Phoenix stopped and held a hand on the door, "We won't blame you, whatever you decide."

"Thank you," Mav whispered.

Now he was alone, the mood dampened even more than it already had. He shuffled his chair closer. It screeched across the linoleum floor.

"Rooster," he started, a wave of emotion coming over him. "Bradley"

"I don't know what to say, I don't even know if you can hear me but if you can, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry for doing this to you," he said. "I should've told you what I was doing before I sacrificed myself for you, I should've found you sooner, I should've done something"

"It should be me in that bed, not you."

He broke down into tears. Sniffling, snot wiped on his hands as he cried ugly tears that had been building up inside.

His mom knelt down in front of him. There were tears in her eyes as she went to stroke his face but her hands went through him. Bradley remembered them being close after his dad died, they only really had each other. Yet, he was now realising he'd had to bury everyone he loved.

"Oh, Pete, you don't deserve any of this," she soothed. "None of us blame you, none of this was your fault."

She spoke with experience, as though her and his dad had spent many a time begging the universe for a moment to talk to the people they loved from beyond the veil. His dad joined her. He didn't say much but there was a strong longing in his eyes.

Maverick couldn't hear any of their pleas, however. To him, he was alone in this room with Bradley's lifeless body.

"I knew I'd screw you up somehow, from the first time I held you, even though I promised I'd do my best to protect you, I knew somewhere along the line I'd so something wrong"

"I thought it was when I pulled your papers, but maybe that was just the start, maybe if we'd had more time then we'd know each other more then we'd know each other's tells and this wouldn't have happened."

He lay a kiss on Bradley's bruised knuckles, "But maybe you can find some peace in the next life? Get rid of some of that anger." He stepped back, pensive. "Even if I was partially the cause of all that."

He ruffled the small patches of hair that weren't covered in bandages. Bradley barely looked like himself in all the medical equipment but he swore he could distantly feel Maverick's finger in his own ghostly hair.

"Say hi to your parents for me, and Ice,"

They smiled at him as he got up and called the doctor and his crewmates back into the room. With tears in his eyes, he told them his decision and sat back down to wait for the appropriate staff to be called to turn off his life support.

Bradley got closer and bent down so he was near Maverick's ear. There was a weird feeling in his gut. A strange rumbling making him queasy. An idea popped into his head, maybe he could get a message across to him. Closing his eyes, he focused on his words in his mind. 

"I don't blame you," he said simply.

He didn't expect him to hear it, but in the chaos of the room, Mav began to look around. First, his face stopped on Bradley's body, his body obviously hadn't said anything. His eyes caught a mirror and for a second, Bradley met his gaze. It worked.

But before he could process what he'd seen, more staff members came in crowding Bradley's body with various instruments he couldn’t name. There was chaos for a while. People came and went but soon the room went quiet as everyone looked at Mav.

Despite his disbelief, he lent down, laying a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodbye, Bradley, I love you."

One by one, the machines turned off. They pulled out the tubes coming out of his body carefully. His respirator went off with a click and his heart rate beeped slower and slower until it eventually flatlined.

Upon hearing the final note, something snapped within Bradley, changing like the wind. His hands tingled as heart wrenching sobs filled the room. 

Yet, the sounds seemed distant. His friends collapsed on each other. The staff gave their condolences as they left the room. Maverick's eyes scanned the room in shock as Bradley smiled at him. His parents waved, Iceman giving a knowing nod. 

Maverick gave a small, yet confused wave as Bradley got lighter and lighter. A wave of calm came over him. Everything would be okay. The other daggers would look after him, Penny and Amelia would look after him, Hondo would look after him.

Looking at his parents, he thought that maybe he could enjoy the afterlife after all.

I found this chapter so hard to write, it was just difficult but reading it back to edit it made me realise it's not bad. Thank you for reading this fic, it was meant to be one, I think, but that was daunting so I made it a three chaptered thing. I hope you enjoyed this!

[nightscapepersona]

Fly V to the Moon - Chapter 6

“The one where he forgets the Christmas show (almost)”

Hello everyone! It’s Christmas time (in the story)! I’ve been longing to write these chapters since I came up with the fic. Now, I know these chapters are super short, but it’s worked like a charm to post more frequently and get the plot moving. Leave this a like if you enjoy it, it means more than you think! Aaaand I'd love to hear what you think, just be kind!  Enjoy! :)

Pairing: Taehyung x OFC

Genre: Fluff, Idol AU, Coffee Shop AU, Café Singer OFC

Warnings: Light swearing in the narration, but it’s all for banter. Again, this is fluff.

Word count: 700

Recommended Songs: Snow Flower  — V; Where Are You, Christmas?  — Pentatonix

Summary: She’s a foreign elementary school teacher by day, a charming singer by night. Taehyung and company discover her at a small garden jazz café where she had a gig one night, only to find out from Jin that she was an arts teacher at a local school in Seoul — Jin's nephew and niece’s teacher, in fact. Taehyung finds himself on a surprise adventure to the moon.

Masterlist

✻  ✻  ✻

Fly V to the Moon — by Nightscape Persona

Chapter 6: “The one where he forgets the Christmas show (almost)”

The middle of December came to Seoul fast.

The weather getting colder meant even more layers of thick knits and coats. Christmas music all around. A drizzle of snow here and there. The snow did not stick, though.

School had just finished for the holidays, and ever since, the Christmas mood had gone up like the hotteok stands on every corner. With the rehearsals for the bands’ ultra Christmassy show and all the decorations around the city, Lia couldn’t have felt more holiday cheer had she been on the North Pole itself. Which is a change, you know. From all other Christmasses since she “grew up” that lost all sense and didn’t feel like they used to anymore. If you know, you know.

Perhaps the only thing missing was a little bit of snow that stayed. Or something magical happening.

Anyways.

On the other side of Seoul, a very busy Taehyung was rehearsing for the end-of-the-year awards run. No time to think about anything else than perfecting the performance. Performances. The number of which he had lost count. Would he ever get a break, we shall not know.

The holiday cheer was everywhere. Literally. But it couldn’t feel more fabricated. Plastic trees and empty gifts and fake snow and ugly Santa’s and electronic bells ringing everywhere he went: on every corner of the sets, every building he stepped into, on his instagram feed all day long. The fake fireplaces on their set for that day. The fake fireplace on their website announcing the countdown to the big day. All very beautiful, of course, yet not one bit real.

It was the same every year, although this year it felt much too contrived. He wasn’t feeling exactly cheerful. Beyond the moments shared with his band mates, he hadn’t had much time to visit family or his other friends, to go somewhere else outside the stage. Brief, fleeting moments of cheer or fun or joy that dissipated like the current snowfall that didn’t stick.

Even the soft Christmas music that he loved felt forced against all the city and industry mayhem.

Could he have one moment? A tiny genuine Christmas time magic moment?

Maybe once they did the show for real…

He looked across the stage at Hoseok smiling at his phone. A tiny, longing, teary-eyed smile. Jin was resting his head on JK’s lap, who was sitting on the floor next to Suga and Jimin. All visibly tired. Namjoon was talking to their manager behind them. Both with a frown.

The day went by long and weary. So did that week. Even the warmth of crowds felt artificial. Not to mention how the non-Christmas stages felt so sterile, so black and sleek and shiny and cold. They were having fun, sorta, at times, but they were mostly exhausted.

So when one Friday afternoon his phone finally buzzed with a reminder he had absolutely forgotten about, his heart fluttered for a bit.

                 Café Show 6 pm *Christmas Tree emoji*

The Christmas show!

How could he be so stupid!

He checked the time.

4:00 p.m.

Okay, he could still make it.

He ran past the rehearsal rooms to where the others had been practicing, and in one breath, wasting not one more single moment, he yelled:

“YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO GET READY! WE’RE GOING TO A CHRISTMAS SHOW!”

Except for Jungkook, who sprang to his feet as he remembered their commitment with a “Shit!,” a chorus of groans and nooooo’s followed suit from everybody.

“NON-NEGOTIABLE!”

“Noooooooo,” two someone’s groaned.

“Get off your ass Min Yoongi! You’re coming with me! Jin-hyung, if you don’t move those legs, I will!”

And after a couple of tries to get everyone moving, and an hour more or less for everybody to get ready, and some attempts to get a certain somebody to “step away from the mirror, you can finish in the car, Park Jimin!,” the squad was on its way to the little hideaway.

5:30 p.m.

They’d make it. Fuck traffic. They would.

Because Taehyung was not about to miss what he was certain was the little pick-me-up that they needed in that season to feel something magical again after a long, anti-magical week.

✻  ✻  ✻

Masterlist — Previous Chapter — Next Chapter

✻  ✻  ✻

All chapters: Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5  — Chapter 6  — Chapter 7 — Chapter 8 — Chapter 9  — Chapter 10 — Chapter 11 — Chapter 12 — Chapter 13 — Chapter 14 — Chapter 15 — Chapter 16 — Chapter 17 — Chapter 18 — Chapter 19  — Chapter 20 — Chapter 21 — Chapter 22 — Chapter 23 — Chapter 24 — Chapter 25 — Chapter 26 — Chapter 27 — Update on Part 2 — Part 2 Preview

[ibelieveinharrystyles]

Chapter Ten: We’ll Be A Fine Line

Here it is the final part of Ashley and Harry’s Story! Enjoy!!!

Christmas was a big thing for both the Hanson and Twist families, ever since that fateful day when a new tradition of joint Christmasses was coined, the two families had been intertwined. Not just by their mutual appreciation for the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special, but the adoration between two members of their families, a bond that thanks to the trials and tribulations of life was stronger than it had ever been. At last there was no hostility, no aggression, just love.

Out of the kindness of his heart, Louis had offered to drive Ashley and both the little ones up to Holmes Chapel, normally Harry would, but having just come back from filming in America, his flight had taken him straight into Manchester three days prior, rather than Heathrow. Louis and Eleanor were travelling up to Doncaster anyway, so as far as he was concerned, a little detour wouldn’t be a problem. Christmas Eve was always the best bit, Daisy was finally old enough to appreciate the traditions that Ashley once loved as a child, thankfully the traffic wasn’t too bad after all. “How are those two getting on the back?” Louis asked Ashley from the driver’s seat.

“Daisy’s watching yet another episode of Care Bears on the iPad and Robbie’s spark out, I swear all he does is sleep.” Ashley sighed, admiring her two children who were sitting either side of her in the back of Louis’ car.

“Mummy, when can we get doggies like Brucie and Cliff?” Daisy asked, looking up at from her iPad, as the two dogs sat behind them in the back of the car.

“I think we’ll have to wait and see Dais.” Ashley replied, sharing a knowing look with Eleanor, as she had asked her a few weeks beforehand for recommendations on dog breeders. 

“We’re here!” Daisy clapped in excitement as Louis pulled up on Linda’s driveway.

“Thank you so much for driving us up you two, I owe you big time.” Ashley smiled.

“It’s not a problem darling, Harry wouldn’t have wanted you getting the train, especially with the two littlens.” Louis replied.

“I’m sure my mum will be more than happy for you both to stay for tea.” Ashley offered, unbuckling Robin and putting him in his pram, before helping Daisy out of the car.

“Thanks a lot love, but we should probably get back on the road before the traffic hits, have a lovely Christmas though.” Louis smiled.

“You too, thanks again.” Ashley pushed the pram up the driveway, Linda answering the door almost immediately.

“Hello my lovelies! Merry Christmas!” Linda smiled, greeting them all with warm hugs. “Let me grab your bags for you, Anne and Harry are in the kitchen eating mince pies, Gem and Michael are still on their way.” 

“Harry!” Daisy ran off into the kitchen to find him as Ashley took Robin, who had just stirred from a nap out of his pram.

She made her way into the kitchen, Anne had already met Robin, but this would be the first time Harry saw him, Harry looked up at Ashley from where Daisy was showing him her new dress, “Hello stranger.” Ashley smiled, holding Robin in her arms, “Do you want to meet your little boy?” Harry nodded, standing up to greet him, Ashley passed him over, allowing Harry to hold him close to his chest.

“Hello little man, how’s it going?” Harry asked, rocking him softly as Robin gazed up into his eyes, “You did it Ash, he’s so perfect.”

“No Harry, we did it.”

The smell of Linda’s wonderful homemade Christmas Eve pie and mash spread throughout the house. Michael and Gemma had arrived after a nightmare journey and everyone was finally sitting around the table ready to tuck into a delicious meal. “I just wanted to make a quick toast,” Linda announced, “the past few years have been interesting and difficult for us all, but we made it through the other side. Although we’ve lost people along the way, we’ve gained two new little sweethearts, our little princess daisy, and her beautiful brother, darling Robin, I’m so thankful to you for welcoming me and Ash as part of your family. While we’ve always felt so welcomed and loved in all the years of our friendship, the arrival of little Robbie has finally completed us all as one unit. So let’s raise a glass to chosen family.” Everyone clinked their glasses before proceeding to tuck into their dinner. 

“Thank you for having us Linda, this is beautiful as always.” Anne smiled.

“It’s delicious Linda.” Harry smiled.

After falling asleep in her old bedroom, Ash stirred from her nap to hear nothing but silence from the rest of the house, the nap was well deserved after the lengthy drive up from London. She made her way downstairs to see Harry sat on the sofa, Robin lying peacefully on his chest as he hummed along to the faint sound of Christmas music coming from the speaker on the mantelpiece. “Glad to see you two are getting to know each other, how has he been?” Ashley smiled.

“An absolute angel.” Harry replied as Ashley sat beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Where’s the others?” She whispered.

“They took Dais to see the Christmas lights in the village, the little man was getting grizzly so I thought he’d be better off staying here.” Harry explained.

“You’re an incredible dad,” Ashley smiled.

“Ash, I’ve literally known him for less than a day.” Harry chuckled.

“Yeah I know, but I’ve seen you with Daisy and I’ve seen you with our little Robin, and you’re incredible with them both.”

“Mummy it’s Christmas!” Daisy ran into Ashley’s bedroom, jumping up and down on her bed excitedly. Ashley wiped the sleep from her eyes, looking up to see Daisy, and Harry stood by the door holding Robin. “Harry came over to bring us a special Christmas breakfast!” Daisy exclaimed. 

“Merry Christmas,” Harry smiled, sitting on the bed beside Ashley, Robin dressed in a little baby grow covered in Christmas robins.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Ashley replied, “Come here little man.” Ashley smiled, taking Robin from Harry. 

“Have you told Daisy yet?” Harry asked.

“Told me what?” Daisy interrupted, still jumping up and down on the bed.

“Well if you get dressed we’re going to take you to Nanny Anne’s house to get your first big present.” Ashley told her.

“Okay!” Daisy cried, jumping off the bed and scrambling to find her red dress and white tights. 

They eventually made it to Anne’s house, Daisy was beyond excited, Linda had Robin in her arms to allow Ashley and Harry to focus on Daisy and her present. They led her through the kitchen, both holding a hand each, “Now Daisy, you’ve got to be really quiet when we go into the conservatory,” Harry told her, he opened the door slowly and let Daisy in. “Merry Christmas Daisy.” He led her to the basket in the centre of the room, inside was a fluffy little caramel colour labradoodle puppy. 

“Is it mine?” Daisy asked.

“Yep, she’s your little puppy.” Ashley told her, picking the puppy up and holding her so Daisy could stroke her. “What do you want to call her Dais?” 

“She looks like honey, let’s call her Honey.” Daisy replied, transfixed on her new best friend.

“That’s beautiful Daisy, she’s going to love you.” Harry told her as he crouched beside her, wrapping her in a big hug.

“This is the best Christmas ever.” Daisy smiled.

Everyone else had arrived at Anne’s and they were finally all sitting around the table, tucking into their turkey. “I just wanted to say something,” Ashley said, “I know I’ve been a bit all over the place this year, I messed some of you around, some more than others. But having you all here means a lot to me, I’m so incredibly grateful that my children have such a loving family. I wanted to give you one of your presents early Harry, before we do the rest later, I know we’re not together, but if anything ever happened to me, I’d want to know my children were in safe hands, I’d want to know they had a loving home with a loving father. Which is why I got you this.” 

She handed him a white envelope, he opened it, pulling out several pieces of paper, he scanned over it, before seeing the words ‘adoption proceedings’, “Is this what I think it is?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, Matt hasn’t been an active part of Daisy’s life since her birth, and I spoke to your solicitor and he said it’s completely viable for you to be Daisy’s adoptive father.” Ashley explained.

“This is the best Christmas present you could’ve got me Ash, thank you so much.” He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly.

“I know it’s an unorthodox situation because we’re not together but it feels right.” Ashley told everyone.

“I think it’s a beautiful idea,” Anne smiled, “I know Linda will agree, we’re so proud of you both and we’re so grateful for you giving us two wonderful grandchildren.”

“That made his year Ash,” Gemma whispered to Ashley as they stood at the sink in Anne’s kitchen washing up the last of the dinner plates.

“I’m glad he was happy, it just felt right, even though we aren’t in a relationship he’s been the best father figure Daisy has ever had. When I think about the time I spent with Will, he didn’t love Daisy, he wanted me, Daisy was just an extra. But when it comes to Harry, he accepts that Daisy is part of the package, and he’s happy that she is.” Ashley replied, gazing through to the living room where Daisy and Harry were playing with Honey.

“You’re good for him Ash. You, Daisy and baby Robin keep his world spinning, I know you’ve been through a lot but it’s always going to be you. Regardless of who he’s with he’ll always pick you and the kids, because although he’s probably scared to admit it, he really does adore you.” Gemma told her.

“Mummy! It’s snowing!” Daisy ran into the kitchen screaming hysterically, Harry and Honey trailing behind her. 

Harry chased after her, managing to scoop her up in his arms, “Before we see the snow Dais, do you want to open some more presents?” Harry asked.

“Yes!” Daisy clapped excitedly as Harry bounced her up and down on his hip.

The two families lay flat out on the sofas in Anne’s living room, Daisy was curled up beside Anne, playing with Honey, and baby Robin was fast asleep on Harry’s chest. Ashley stood outside in the cold, flakes of snow dancing through the lengths of her hair. She stared up at the blanket of stars, one thing she loved about Holmes Chapel was how clear the sky was, unlike London, was how clear the sky remained each night. “I wondered where you got to,” She turned to see Harry joining her as they both leant against the fence of Anne garden terrace. 

“It’s a madhouse in there, I’m surprised Daisy still has so much energy.” Ashley remarked.

“Well at least she’ll sleep like an angel tonight.” Harry chuckled.

“Fingers crossed,” Ashley smiled, “I’ve had the loveliest day today, I’m really glad you’re home.”

“I am too, it was great working on another film, but nothing beats being here with you and the little ones.” Harry replied.

“Harry when we started this year together, I told you I wanted to take things one step at a time, because I was scared, I was scared of what would happen if I opened my heart again, I was scared of getting hurt, and I was scared of Daisy getting caught up in everything.” Ashley told him, “When really I was incomplete without you.” 

“Ash what are you trying to say?” Harry asked.

“I want us to try again, as a couple,” Ashley explained, “I know that this might be a bit sudden, but seeing your bond with Robin, and seeing the way you are with Daisy. It doesn’t end there either, you’ve done so much for me, you’ve been more of a rock for me than anyone ever has, I was just so naive I didn’t realise that even when you were half way across the world you were still right there by my side.” 

“Ash,” Harry whispered, taking hold of her hands, “I want nothing more than to be with you.” 

“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Ashley kept her eyes on Harry’s, tracing delicate patterns across the skin of his knuckles as a smile beamed across her face. “That we always knew, but were too scared to say anything.” 

“I never felt the need to say it.” Harry’s gaze was intent, as a tentative grin appeared on his face. “But I love you.”

“Forever?” Ashley whispered.

“Always, my golden girl.”

[myfalsedevotion]

supposed to be editing huh vicky 🤨🤨🤨 im kidding let's do this 😌 how about 2, 7, 15, 17 & 22! ok that's a lot but i have restrained myself from sending all of them so be proud of me 💙

I'm always proud of you, Maya 💙💙 And yup, I've started the editing process 🤭🤭 (I still am fighting with a couple paragraphs from the end scene, so I decided to start editing and let my brain work it out in the background hahahah)

Let's do this (under the cut so I don't take over people's dashes):

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

Okay, this is fun. There's been a couple times. Can't talk about the most recent one before tomorrow, but. In Hourglass. Cashton were never supposed to be a thing. It was a one-sided crush side plot. And then Ashton looked me dead in the eyes and was like "did you really think you could put Calum next to me for an extended period of time being his cute and talented self and I wouldn't develop fEeLiNgS???" so... 😅

Oh, and let's never forget Ashton growing a sudden tragic past when I was writing what I thought would be a fun lil christmass-y one-shot fic that would later be known as All The Hues Of Blue 🤭 He was just "well, you see, I'm a bit broken. So this is not going to be just a fun one-shot. It's going to end up being a huge ass series. You're welcome 💙"

7. tell us about one of your characters who’s an absolute joy to write

LUCIFURR. Gosh he's so fun. Although I've never written him, him. Always about other character's perceptions of him hahahah. And, of course, Otto, my beloved 💙 Otto's always a joy to write. Can't wait to write more of him. Eventually. Some day. He's such a sweet character, I can't 🥺

15. in an ideal world where you’re already super successful and published, would you want to see a tv or movie adaptation of your work? why or why not?

Mayaa, you know the answer to this one 🤭🤭 YES! I'd love to, but. I'd also love to be involved. I have a degree in film, if in this hypothetical world they offered me the chance to work on the script, or helping the casting, or being a part of the creative team? Sign me the fuck up. Athob for example is huge on colour symbolism, I'd absolutely love to explore that in an actual film 😍😍 One can dream hahahahah

17. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

It is the hardest thing sometimes. I spent two months with Hourglass as "Batman fic" on my drafts, trying to look for a title then deciding on using the name I had given the animation studio on it for the title.

For my one-shots, unless I've had a clear direction from the beginning (Kokology), it's been hard. Then they end up being named Crayon Record Store because there was a record store on the fic and since it was Cake I wrote for my best friend's birthday, who I have saved as "Crayon" on my phone –she misspelled crying and wrote crayon once and I will never let her live it down–, well, I just put two and two together.

Then there's All The Hues Of Blue, which working title was "Christmas is all around" up until the moment I was about to post the first chapter, then the title just came to me. Funny thing, because it ended up being the thread that bound together that entire story, part of what gave it meaning. And it just... came to me. And Rare as Gold came to me when I was reading about neutron star collisions and how they're believed to be the origin of all the gold found in our galaxy (at this point I already knew what the last words of ATHOB were, and chose the title for the sequel knowing that). And... it will play a big part on the final scene 🤭

22. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you. or talk about several. seriously, writing is cool. you’re making up whole stories out of your brain, revel in that shit.

Pleasantly surprised me? 🤔🤔 There's been a lot. Of course all the friends I've met through writing, that's the first thing that comes to mind.💙 Even though I don't think that question refers to that, but. It's the most important thing.

Another thing is how writing is such a powerful tool for self-reflection. I literally, subconsciously wrote things into fics over three years ago that I'm only just now picking up on and understanding that say a lot about what I was going through at the time, or about who I am. It's so cool to be rereading something I wrote and then go "...huh." 🤭

[hecohansen31]

Tinder date anon here (again!): write more please!

(A/N): Hello there, lovelies!

Ahhh can you believe that a few days ago I literally went like ‘I need to write something christmass-y for Ivar’, and then I wrote it and then you asked… so… this is low key creepily magical!

But on a more serious note, my period has started (TMI), so if you want anything with Ivar, because that is my actual mood, I am more than happy to write and in the meanwhile I hope you’ll like this little babe!

Have a nice day!

WARNINGS: Family Drama, Abandonment Issues, Problematics Relatives, Talk of Medical Problems and Family at Christmas In General (also I know… I am the only person who can write Christmas fic… AFTER CHRISTMAS).

You hadn’t expected this to happen so quickly.

But when Ivar had asked you to come to meet his family for Christmas’ Eve dinner, you hadn’t been able to reject the proposal, mostly when you, yourself, had no plans for it…

… and you would have loved nothing more than to spend it with your boyfriend.

So, it was all settled, although you had had to rush all your gifts for his bothers and his parents, since he had let you know about the proposal only a week before Christmas.

‘I didn’t want to seem like an obsessed kind of type…’ he had mumbled, once you had asked the reason behind his timing ‘… I didn’t want you to feel rushed’.

Well you certainly weren’t feeling rushed for that, but it didn’t mean that you weren’t feeling less anxious about meeting Ivar’s big family, although you already knew Hvitserk, who was fine and nice, once you understood how to take him.

(And to ignore the condoms laying around all over his and Ivar’s shared house, which had come quite handy a few times).

‘… well then you have seen the worst of us’ had mumbled Ivar, after you had asked him to prepare you for what you were going to have to deal with ‘… Ubbe is nice, if you ignore the fact that he is annoying as hell and that his wife is a bitch, Sigurd is a bitch, but he is not a threat, and Bjorn won’t probably come…’.

The fact was that you weren’t exactly worried by Ivar’s brothers.

Who truly worried you was Aslaugh, Ivar’s beloved mother.

If you were Ivar’s love, Aslaugh had been his first love and you could see with the way he constantly talked about her, valuing her opinion as if it was the Law which both irritated you and made you anxious about her opinion of you.

Would she consider you not enough for his son?

And what would Ivar do in that case?

Would he discard you without a second thought or would he dare to go against his beloved mother’s opinion?

You had tried to push any of those thoughts down, but the day you had  had to get ready to reach Ivar’s childhood house, they all came back to you and you tried not to panic hard in front of Ivar and Hvitserk, who were the calmest, even going as far as joking around, rather brotherly.

And you were tying not to throw up, in the car.

When you finally arrived, you tried to focus on the luggage that needed to be brought inside, helping Hvitserk, meanwhile Ivar insisted he could get also something.

‘You are wearing heels, woman, for Odin’s sake!’ he swore, looking at your polished booties, which you had worn to try to impress Asluagh with a classier look, having stalked her profile on Instagram to try to match her style, in order to impress her.

‘I can handle, sweetie’ your tone was sickly sweet, and Ivar sent you a confused look, before he turned around, giving up on his mission and going to knock on the polished door of the beautiful manor.

Although Hvitserk and Ivar referred to it as a simple ‘house’, for you it was a manor, with a perfect garden and even a swimming pool, which Hvitserk had suggested you used for the traditional ‘Lothbrock Christmas Swimming’, on Christmas morning.

You followed Ivar a few minutes later, with your backpack on your shoulder, carrying two suitcases (yours and Ivar, trying not to swirl and fall onto the iced surface, since all around the manor there was snow, in a beautiful winter-y atmosphere that looked like it was brought out of a winter legend.

It wasn’t Asluagh that opened the door, but an elderly man, although he looked as handsome as he had been in his earliest years, but his age was evident, alongside the wolfish grin he held, taking you in, although surprise quickly blossomed in your eyes as Ivar’s hand tangled with yours.

Your boyfriend, also, seemed surprised by the vision and it was Hvitserk who made the man known also to you, gently saluting him:

“Hey dad!” he muttered, quickly hugging him, as he dragged himself and the rest of the luggage inside, leaving you and Ivar blinking for the surprise “… didn’t know you would be there”.

And apparently didn’t Ivar, who after a first moment of holding his eternal grudge, moved in, bringing you alongside him, grabbing ahold of his luggage, trying to avoid with expertise his father, who still managed to catch him.

And more importantly: you caught his attention.

“Hello there, Ivar!” mumbled his father, once he got away from Hivtserk’s hug, who soon moved away towards what you thought was the kitchen “… and you brought a little friend”.

You didn’t know much about Ivar’s father: he had abandoned his family after Ivar’s birth. but he had still tried to be present in his sons’ lives.

At least economically.

“… dad, I thought you were dead” mumbled Ivar, no sarcastic tone his voice, and Ragnar quickly realized that he wasn’t welcome there, as his son quickly sprinted away, suggesting he was tired and would bring the suitcases to his room, on the first floor.

Leaving you with a rather sad Ragnar.

“He is just tired, he tends to get grumpy when he is tired” you tried to justify the situation, not even knowing why you were trying, but feeling a bit bad for the man: he wouldn’t have won best father of the year, but he had showed up “… I mean he is constantly grumpy…”.

“That’s the Ivar I know!” smirked Ragnar, softly as if he was remembering sweeter times, before gently offering his big hand to you “… I am Ragnar by the way, Ivar’s asshole dad”.

“I am (Y/N)” you mumbled, accepting the hand graciously “… Ivar’s…”.

“Oh you must be (Y/N)” a chirping voice exited the kitchen and a blonde girl a bit older than you appeared with an older woman that you recognized as Aslaugh: they both looked like they came from a cookie batch competition, but Aslaugh managed to seem regal even covered head-to-toe in flour.

She looked at your cryptically and for a minute.

You were wondering whether she was analyzing each flaw she could find, but then she gently smiled at you.

“Poor (Y/N)” she mumbled, pushing Margrethe, the blonde girl, which you had recognized as Ubbe’s wife a bit away from you“… five minutes she is in here, and she already gets stalked like an animal… I am sorry for my husband and son’s behavior, mostly Ivar’s, he should know better than to leave a woman, alone…”.

Ragnar found this as his cue to move away, sending you one last smirk at you, as if he knew all too well that you were going to go through a lot

“He was a bit tired and said he would have gone to his room to lay down” you suggested trying to shift the conversation away from you, having received more attention than you had hoped for, since Margrethe also kept on looking at you, definitely trying to find any weak point you owned.

“Still… he knows better than to come here, without at least letting his poor mother that he is still alive” she mumbled, huffing annoyed, although you could detect a bit of worry in her tone “… I also am rather sorry for not properly presenting myself to you: I am Aslaugh, Ivar’s mother… I hoped he told you this at least, and I would gladly hold your hand, but… I have flour in places I didn’t know flour could get…”.

You laughed, a bit relieved that Aslaugh was this fun and gently nodded, before you showed her the direction, Ivar had gone to, although you felt like she already knew, getting Margrethe to grab your coat and show you the wardrobe where you could store that.

‘I’ll check on my son a few minutes and then we can meet in the kitchen for a few cookies, hoping Hivtserk hasn’t eaten all of them, in the meantime, you and Margrethe can have a good talk over tea’.

You doubted you could have a ‘meaningful’ conversation with Margrethe, although you’d have to admit that you were used to ‘small talk’ having had to deal with Elaine all your college and work life, but you still didn’t like it, in the slightest.

Also, with the ‘totally weirded-out’ look she kept on sending your way, you didn’t feel in the slightest at ease with her, although you could understand why.

Ivar had confessed you that one of the reason why he didn’t feel comfortable having sex, was that once he had tried to hit it off with Margrethe (‘I was young and stupid and all my brothers had had their own experiences with women… it made me feel… self-conscious’) and he hadn’t been able to ‘raise up to the occasion’.

And Margrethe had laughed at him, taunting him enough that sex for him had been a rather taboo topic and only lately he had been more open even getting some control visit to see if it was truly some kind physiological problematics or simply psychological.

So, you understood that the blonde girl was trying to understand what you were staying with Ivar for.

“Oh Gosh, we weren’t certainly expecting you” her voice was slightly noisy and you couldn’t help but feel like it had some haughty tone that made you feel even more at unease and were secretly thankful that Aslaugh quickly reappeared.

“… but I am definitely glad that you are here, (Y/N)” her tone held an immediate warmness that you couldn’t help but appreciate, feeling more at ease, as she joined you on the table you had set down onto, before she quickly grabbed from an ‘hidden location’, as she called it, a jar of cookies “… and my son will join us shortly, I gave him quite my piece of mind about not leaving his pretty girl all alone, I was once also all alone in some stranger’s house, so I know it can be intimidating”.

You dared a shy smile at her, meanwhile Margrethe applied onto her face a smile of circumstance.

“Thank you, I truly appreciate it, but I stopped trying to get Ivar to do what I want… he will… eventually” you joked and Aslaugh laughed lightly, before adding.

“He was also a stubborn child” and then her eyes grew a bit sadder, a memory flashing in them “… he had to be, because… of how he was born”.

“… it never stopped him from doing what he wanted” you reassured Aslaugh and she sent a small smile at you, gripping your hand.

The sudden gesture made you flush lightly and you were happy when Ivar appeared on the kitchen threshold, quickly setting himself between you and Aslaugh, donning both you and his mother with a quick kiss onto your cheeks.

“Oh cookies…” he mumbled, trying to grab some from the jar, but Aslaugh slapped off his hand “… ouch… mom!”.

“Cookies are for people who don’t leave their girlfriends all alone” she mumbled, and you smirked a bit, meanwhile Ivar just flushed and pushed himself a bit closer to you, something which didn’t go unnoticed to the other women in the room.

The cookies didn’t go unnoticed so long to Hvitserk, who walked in the kitchen fascinated by the smell of freshly baked cookies, fighting with Margrethe for cookies, meanwhile you slipped one of yours to Ivar, who kissed your hand in a gentleman way to thank you.

“Sorry for having left you there…” he whispered softly into your ear “… I just wasn’t expecting him to be here”.

You simply patted one of his hand, before dragging him closer, in an almost kiss.

“… just don’t do it again” and then pushed him lightly away from you, making him giggle, and he managed to set a little kiss on your forehead.

“… cross my heart and hope to die” he whispered back, softly kissing your cheek, meanwhile Margrethe looked at you half disgusted and half weirded out “… do you think that Margrethe has something stuck in her eyes?”.

“Only her dignity” you mumbled, gaining an immediate smirk by Ivar, as Hvitserk joined your side, hoping to gain some cookies, with his puppy eyes, but he didn’t get none, moving onto trying to plead Aslaugh, who eventually relented.

“… oh, by the way, where are Ubbe and Sigurd?” asked Hvitserk, mouth half full of cookies, probably to know if he should just rush in eating the rest of the cookies before they came back from wherever they had gone, or if he could consume them more calmly.

“They went out grocery shopping, for a few missing things for the dinner” which low key surprised you since Aslaugh didn’t seem the type who missed anything for her ‘perfect dinner’ and soon Ivar solved the enigma.

“… they went to get dad a Christmas present, didn’t they?”.

Aslaugh nodded darkly, before some softness washed over her face.

“He just came here a few days ago, saying that old age is making him value what truly matter and what doesn’t”.

“It never seemed to stop him before” muttered darkly Ivar, gaining an annoyed look by Aslaugh “… oh c’mon, mom, you certainly can’t be happy to see him here, he left you! For another woman!”.

“I am certainly not happy to have him, here” her tone was stone cold, and you couldn’t help but feel like you were an outside to all this drama “… but I still have to recognize that he is your father, and he still deserves to see you and make peace with you, before it’s too late”.

Something broke in Ivar’s eyes and he relented in the word-fight with Aslaugh, meanwhile Hvitserk stopped eating his beloved cookies, probably understanding the graveness of the situation.

“… I still… it is strange…” mumbled Ivar.

“Well, then get used to strangeness because he is going to stick around at least till tomorrow morning” Aslaugh now donned her motherly tone and Ivar didn’t seem to have any intention to disobey her, meanwhile Hvitserk stood on his toe a bit more upright “… and now won’t you help me setting up dinner?”.

—

You couldn’t help but feel definitely inexperienced about dinners once Aslaugh got everything ready for the night, mostly because she made it seem so easily, as it it wasn’t something that came from experience or such.

Margrethe was quickly able to follow her commands, meanwhile you were extremely clueless and were glad for Hvitserk and Ivar’s back up in the kitchen, since they had also been put to use (‘I didn’t raise my sons to be some annoying sofa-warmers’ had mumbled Aslaugh, ordering them to get ready the vegetables).

But what made the experience even more nerve-wracking was the constant chit-chat going on between you and Aslaugh, which seemed harmless, but again… you didn’t want to fail her interrogation.

She asked a few personal questions of circumstance, asking whether you were still in college or working, and what you did, if you liked it or were aiming for something more., probably trying to sound out whether you were a gold digger or not.

Then she pushed the themes onto your and Ivar’s relationship, involving also her son in the questions: how long they had been together for, how they had met (Hvitserk bumped in this question, explaining the entire ‘tinder date’ thing, gaining quite the annoyed look by Aslaugh) and if you felt well together.

“Aren’t three months a bit too little for meeting the family?” asked naively Margrethe, the tone calm only onto the surface, under it, there was some kind of intent to break her apart to see what was going down, behind closed door.

“Ahem… yes…” you honestly wanted to reply that it was ‘none of her business’, and it was what Ivar’s face said, but you thought ‘kill her with kindness’ “… but I felt like I was personally ready for it, and Ivar didn’t make me feel rushed into this, so I think that timing only counts when you feel like it”.

Margrethe looked like she had been smacked, meanwhile Aslaugh gave you a soft smile.

“Ah, you are completely right, (Y/N)!” she smirked, before moving her examining glance to Margrethe “… also weren’t you and Ubbe already ‘dating’ a few weeks after having met, and with ‘dating’ I meant that you were coming over here, and acting like you owned the place”.

That seemed to shush her for quite a bit, for which you were thankful, because it made the conversation more lighthearted.

Finally, at 5 p.m. the two wandering brothers came home, bringing some grocery bags, meanwhile they hid badly a bag form a jewelry store, as they passed a horrendous Christmas card with a sloth to Ivar and Hvitserk to sign it.

And meanwhile this happened, they presented themselves to you: Ubbe in a more heartwarmingly way, even going as far as to hug you, meanwhile Sigurd simply gripped your hand in a loose shake, looking at you as if he had a unicorn in front of him.

And then they moved onto their brothers, giving a similar treatment as they had done with you, with Ubbe hugging warmly his brothers, before he moved onto kissing softly Margrethe and you almost shipped them, then and there.

Meanwhile also Sigurd hugged Hvitserk, he simply acknowledged Ivar, with a look of hostility in his eyes.

“… we weren’t expecting you to bring her, here” he muttered, more a whisper than actually anything, not wanting to be heard by you and Aslaugh, who was looking through the groceries “… we all thought she was some kind of fake joke…”.

Before Ivar could kill him, you gently pushed him back, suggesting you went to change for the dinner, gaining a little nod of approval by Aslaugh, who suggested that she brought you both the towels and something to wear.

You didn’t know what she meant with ‘something to wear’ but simply nodded, pushing Ivar away from the kitchen and Sigurd.

As you were under closed doors, and you had actually smashed your face against Ivar’s fluffy comforter, thankful for a few minutes alone with your mind, before Ivar smashed against you, making you let out a loud ‘ouch’ and him a laugh, as he kissed onto your neck to ease the pain.

You moved to face him and kiss him, gently, feeling him melt against you and you gently smashed your finger into his hair, getting a low moan from his chest.

“… we are making out like two teenagers, and we are even in your childhood room” you joked meanwhile he started nibling onto your neck, his way of releasing stress from Sigurd’s affirmation was to worship your body, getting lost in it.

“You are the first one” he blushed, shyly, his inexperience always surprising you, even more when he would kiss you like that.

“Am I not lucky?” you giggled softly, pushing him softly away, to get a look at your luggage, in order to decide what to wear, meanwhile Ivar got himself in the shower, as you told him to shout if he needed any help “… also what was your mother meaning with ‘sending us some clothes for dinner’”.

“Oh, mom is probably going to lend you some clothes, nothing on your fashion style, but she has her own clothing etiquette for Christmas Eve dinner…” he shouted from the shower, before water poured over his voice.

Although it was obvious that Aslaugh didn’t mean it badly, the clothing thing still made you feel a bit at unease, both for the lending and both for the clothing and as you were in the shower, you heard Ubbe walking in the room and quickly exchanging a few words with Ivar.

And when you walked in, Ivar was already in his expensive suit, and your elegant burgundy dress was waiting for you: it was rather conservative and definitely a bit different from what you were expecting.

“Is this your mother? Or does she buy new clothes for your girlfriends’ each year?” you mumbled “… because I don’t know which is creepier”:

“They are some of her oldest dresses, and she adapts the one she doesn’t use whether for charity or friends” Ivar explained to you, meanwhile he helped you adjust the dress, pushing the zip up, meanwhile he laid one last soft kiss at your neck.

“Is there something that your mom can’t do?” you mumbled a bit worried that you couldn’t ever be half as amazing as her.

“Stop us from screaming at each other, each dinner” he joked, before he made you turn to him and look at him “… and you shouldn’t compare yourself to her: I know that you are fucking nervous, but you are the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me, whether my mom approves or not”.

“I am still…” you mumbled, lowering your eyes, just for Ivar to push them up.

“You are perfect, never ever fucking forget that” and then he entangled your elbows together “… now let’s go to eat, hoping Hvitserk hasn’t eaten everything”.

You giggled and dragged your handsome man by his tie, meanwhile he smirked at you.

Once you were down the only thing that had stopped Hvitserk from eating anything on the table was the fact that Aslaugh was looking at him like she would straight up disown him had he through about eating anything, before everyone was down there.

After you and Ivar, followed Ubbe and Margrethe who had changed in a stunning icy blue dress, that highlighted her delightful completion and her pretty eyes: you were almost jealous, hadn’t Ivar sent her the same look he had given in the lamp, illuminating the stairs.

Last but not least came Ragnar, who just looked around curiously, probably checking his sons’ reactions to his presence, smirking softly at each of them, trying to avoid the pure hate glares he received and you couldn’t help but pity him a tiny bit.

As you settled down you were sat on Ivar’s right, meanwhile Aslaugh set up on his left and Ragnar onto your left, and in front of you there was Sigurd, on his left Hvitserk and on his right Margrethe and Ubbe.

It all started with a little appetizer, alongside wine, for which you were grateful, because the situation was kind of awkward: Ivar kept on looking at Ragnar, as did Aslaugh, but whereas she was more checking whether he was still there or not, Ivar was sending him his constant reminder that he wasn’t welcomed.

As did Ubbe and Sigurd.

Hvitserk was too bothered by sniffling the appetizers, meanwhile Margrethe had set herself up on the most distant place of the table to avoid the drama, which was a smarter move than you would have thought from someone like her.

In all this you tried to keep polite conversation between your two in-laws, not wanting to get on their nerves.

Ragnar mostly seemed interested into knowing details of your relationship, as a proud father would, sending rather shiny grins over at Ivar as if to say “that’s my boy”, meanwhile Aslaugh tried to keep the conversation also on you, asking your interests and hobbies and suddenly your worst nightmare had become true.

You were the center of attention.

And you were secretly thankful when Aslaugh had to take a bit of a break to gather the first dish, bringing alongside Ragnar, asking for his help with bringing the plates and you were already full but were thankful for the distraction that broke the main conversation in different smaller groups.

You risked spitting out all your wine, when Sigurd talked next, staring blatantly at you.

“You don’t have to pretend anymore we all know that the only way Ivar can land a girl like you is through money”.

“Excuse me” you shot back, pushing your glass of wine down, because you were quite sure that you would have certainly splashed Sigurd with it “… I don’t think I heard what you said quite right”.

“You either are doing it for money or for pity, I am sure” he mumbled back and, you were extremely thankful that you had put down your glass.

“I am sorry but that is none of your business first of all” you mumbled, meanwhile Ubbe tried to stop Ivar from getting up “… and second of all, you might not see it, but Ivar has qualities and I am with him for that, not for money or pity”.

“Oh, you’d be the first one to like Ivar because of his personality” mumbled Sigurd, his tone sarcastic and your tone immediately matched his, in your reply.

“At least he has one, unlike someone else” and with a roll of your eyes you sent him a look that meant that that ‘someone’ was him.

Silence fell down upon the table, but you felt Ivar’s hand gently push itself onto your thigh in an attempt to calm you down, but you were far too gone and turned to him, kissing him on the lips furiously.

You weren’t the expressive couple in the slightest, both you and Ivar taking PDA to a bare minimum, although you would always have your hands on each other, in a subtle and elegant way.

But you just felt like in that moment it was the right thing to do, and as soon as Ivar’s plush lips were onto yours, you were very much in heaven and only separated at a slow clapping of hands, found Ragnar looking at you even more fatherly-proud.

Ivar quickly hid his head into the crook of your neck and you were almost thankful when Aslaugh walked in bringing the first dish, completely disrupting the attention from you and Ivar, although you still felt Sigurd’s eyes following you, meanwhile Margrethe blushed, hiding her gaze behind her hands.

“… what did I miss?” asked Alsaugh, noticing the strange silence.

Hvitserk was halfway through opening his mouth full of food to answer, when Ivar kicked his knee under the table effectively shushing him.

“Nothing mom” mumbled Ubbe.

You were able to continue the dinner without a hitch, although you still felt self-conscious about your ‘excessive’ reaction to Sigurd’s provocation, but Ivar was smirking as brightly as the sun, staring all victoriously at Sigurd, meanwhile he twirled a knife in his hands.

The conversation helped you a bit, since it quickly shuffled onto more ordinary stuff and you were more than grateful to be chosen to be the one who had to help Aslaugh in the kitchen.

And she immediately noticed it.

“Ahh, my boys can be quite ‘too much’, sometimes” she mumbled, taking a huge gulp of wine “… and when Ragnar is with them, it is even worse”.

“I am sure that everything is alright” you mumbled, taking your own gulp of wine, meanwhile Aslaugh got the meat out of the oven, as you brought some plates where she could put it once it was cute “… and I honestly feel almost bad for Ragnar…”.

“I don’t want to risk on sounding like a vengeful woman: but it’s what he deserves for running away for all these years” although Aslaugh was trying to keep her tone calm and posed like she always did, there was some rage beneath it, and you just retired yourself back, helping her bring out the dishes.

The dinner continued calmly, and then once you had all washed the plates and collected the tablecloth to scroll it down for the crumbs, effectively moping them away meanwhile the boys helped set up the fire in the chimney, you all came around it to share your gifts.

The first ones to receive them were Aslaugh and Ragnar: all the boys had teamed up at least for the gifts, choosing a beautiful pendant in glass for Aslaugh, which looked like it was handmade, resembling a rose.

Ragnar instead received the jewelry bag, you had seen that afternoon and seemed more than delighted just at the appearance of the bag, as if he hadn’t expected the gift, being even more surprised as it turned out as a pretty watch, expensive from the little golden inserts.

He looked like he was about to cry at the thoughtful gifts and received a few small smiles by his older sons, meanwhile both Sigurd and Ivar kept themselves indifferent, although you felt Ivar gripping gently your hand a bit tighter, excited to see his father happy, although he didn’t want to let him see his happiness.

He wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

Then the boys passed to share their gifts with each other.

You and Ivar had chosen together the gifts, dividing the brothers, you would take Sigurd and Hvitserk (since it was impossible to hide something from that idiot) and Ivar would take Ubbe and Margrethe.

In the end you had gone with two tickets for Hvitserk’s favorite soccer team and a little music playbook for Sigurd, which you had embellished with some music sheet you had found online, as a way to let the playbook feel more familiar (you almost thought he didn’t deserve it for the stuff he had pulled at dinner).

Meanwhile Ivar had chosen a two-days-trip to one luxurious spa, which seemed to please Margrethe, who wasn’t certainly expecting this, from Ivar.

You were also surprised to receive gifts, because your presence had been announced much later: Ubbe and Margrethe gifted you two pair of golden earrings shaped as stars and Hvitserk gave you and Ivar a ‘tasting experience’ for a luxurious restaurant (although you were well aware that his first option had been a ‘vibrator’, but Ivar had literally threatened to change the locks of their shared house, had he chosen that gift).

Even Sigurd gifted you of a little something: a beaded headband, elegant and classy, matching your style.

You were surprised but hastily took it, even trying it on, as Ivar complimented the look, sending a slightly softer look at his brother, who blushed, his eyes speaking of unspoken apologies.

And even more weirdly, both Aslaugh and Ragnar had a gift for you: the latter one gave you a pretty flower vintage dress, this time, completely new and suiting you perfectly, a famous brand in the little label.

‘Oh, I don’t know if I got the measurements right! If you ever need to chan…’ and you hadn’t been able to stop yourself from hugging the woman, almost immediately regretting the decision till she hugged you back.

Ragnar’s gift was instead for you both: a trip to England, in one of his lofts (at which Ivar huffed in an annoyance, but you thanked your father-in-law, since you had always wished to visit England again).

Many more gifts were exchanged, and the things got a bit out of hand as also Floki and Helga joined the night, and you were swept off the floor as Floki brought you in a bone-crushing hug, meanwhile Helga giggled softly.

Although you were happy, and Ivar was literally the most at ease you had ever seen him, you had to retire a bit outside, in order to calm yourself down, with the excuse for a toilet break, from anyone.

Ivar followed you, gaining the wolf-whistles of his brothers, who joked about ‘what you truly were going to do in that bathroom’.

You went out, Ivar donning his coat onto your shoulder, since you had forgotten about it, a bit too warmed by the niceness of this new family.

“I am sorry if it was a bit too much” mumbled softly Ivar, gently getting a few sweaty strands away from your face, meanwhile you shook your head.

“No no, it was perfect” and softly kissed his face, meanwhile he scrunched his nose, faking that he didn’t like your affection “… I just… they are low key all so… welcoming”.

“It went better than I expected” he mumbled, meanwhile you adjusted your hair “… with you by my side, everything is better”.

“Flatterer” you mumbled, and made to go back inside, knowing that Ivar couldn’t handle the cold for long, but then he stopped you and got something out of his pocket, a small box.

Breath got stuck in your lungs, but Ivar quickly reassured you.

“It isn’t what you think I swear, but I felt like I just had to get you another little thing for Christmas…” you were a bit at loss of words: you had made a deal about getting a simple gift for each other for Christmas, since you didn’t want to disappoint the other “… oh c’mon! I know that you got me that Viking book, other than the beautiful tie”.

You blushed being caught red-handed, but still didn’t do anything else.

“You didn’t have to get me…” you mumbled, but Ivar shut you up with a slightly angered look.

“Please don’t make me wait anymore, I am low key anxious that you won’t like it!”.

And you finally opened the box to reveal a little necklace with a ladybug on it, Ivar’s silly nickname for you, because according to him ‘you were his lucky-charm’.

You sighed a bit at the prettiness of the golden beauty, before Ivar suggested to help you put it on, and he adjusted it, gently giving a soft kiss to the back of your neck, as he slipped another bigger present from one of the pocket of your coat, making you send him an exasperated look.

“Oh, c’mon! This one is for us both!” he mumbled, blushing distinctively the reddest you had ever seen, as you revealed under the elegant box a simple set of burgundy lingerie.

“Is this a sign that you want to try?” you tried to be the most delicate possible with your words.

And Ivar grabbed softly your hand, pushing up to kiss your lips again.

“… didn’t I tell you? You are my lucky-charm, little ladybug!”.

[definedbywhatilove]

seven months

hey taylor! this is a little story of my journey since the last time that i let you in to my inner world... its been seven months...(feels like 20 lifetimes of growth) and two months since I moved to California and one week since I left my grandest, most divine partner in L.A to continue my journey of self discovery, self awareness, self love, and self soverignty... and i wanted to mention something important to you -- a sign, an invisable string if you will. since i was a kid, your music always followed me and described my life experiences. as i began a deep journey of self understanding, i went away from the reality that i knew (much alike your time to yourself, away from the media) last oct/november. and i let myself fall deeply, and madly in love. you know the love i'm talking about. the red love. the deeply open and vulnerable heart love, despite all past burns to the heart. the one you write poetry and songs about. i know you feel deeply self worth inside. i know that you relyed on guys to help fill that void. same as me. same as so many beautiful woman out there. giving our hearts away.. loving so damn red. but loving so: fearlessly. bravely. courageously. vulnerably. openly. you can't regret a thing, can you? and the months piled up. nine months december 27 he came to Christmass dinner ten months january 27 this is... love eleven months febuary 27 this is home 1 year march 27 this is the 1 three days after, my life came crashing down. i wake up to coughing. masks. fear. my house turned into a graveyard a grounds of fear, pain, suffering sickness. not me. her. my dads partner. someone who i thought, in my own ego, i despised. in that moment, i knew i loved. two hours. it was less than two hours that i packed two suitcases, and a heavy backpack full of everything that mattered to me. i had practised this before. countless nights isoltated in my room, pretending to pack to run away. really considering running away. but never running. it was a blur. i don't remember much. a message to stay, but the knowingness that it was my time to leave. one last goodbye. no hug. a promise. with my father. knowing he would get sick. knowing that my father, my Rock, my stable Father could very evidently get sick and die. was this a goodbye forever? i didn't know but i left. i had to leave. by some greater plan from God, or whoever is orchestrating this magical universe, my partner moved to my city by chance through the winter and I went to him. i moved in; my heart afraid of moving in with somebody that i love because love had only ever hurt me. i moved in with my partner and allowed my dad the space to go through his own conscious awakening. thirteen months WILL HE DIE? i prayed everyday. i surrendered. i released the outcome. i surrendered to my partner and the relationship and accepted a deeper love than i have ever experienced during this time. i started my business. really, started my business. i started it in december but I didn't really know if I would ever get to see my dad again. through the fall and winter he provided for me whilst i recovered from being sick [reoccuring during fall/winter, peak in sept. same thing i felt during my journey in 2018]. how will i live as an adult on my own? provide for myself? what if he dies? i make my first 2k month. i surrender to love. i meet nature. fourteen months i called him for the first time. my dad. it was so painful to hear him speak. he was still sick. i began to slowly give grounded, healing advice. affirmations. colors. introduced the law of attraction. helping him know that his physical body was sick because his mind was sick of negativity. i move into my first apartment with my partner. its beautiful. he pays the rent. i get the entire room, he takes the living room. i was provided for. i continued my business. i held strong visions of travelling with my partner before the lease was up in august. it was my lifelong dream. i prayed for my dad and his partner. sitting in nights of fear and pain. letting go. trusting. rebuilding. health. NATURE. LOVE. date nights. park visits. lake visits. fifteen i saw my dad and his partner! in person! june 6, the first time since march 30. i went with my partner. i was nervous. i also get to see my cat ~~ who has always had siezures, that got even worse when they were sick... who i also had to let go of, not knowing if would survive.. but did! i gave him healing crystals. healing tips. love. hope. he opened. my dad whos heart was closed cracked open. i had never seen this mans heart open since i was a little child before my mom broke his heart. he left his job, you know. when i was a kid i was neglected for that job. one that i had to go to school too many times when i didn't feel because of. one that kept him gone late nights once a week. one that drained him. but the job that supported me physically and financially through my entire life. the job that helped give me a good life ~ his time and energy he gave into this job to provide for his daughter. he realized what it was doing to him. he realized, taylor. he realized. he got a new job. two hours away, a small county on the lake. a chance to start over. leave the karmic city he lived in. he also began to feel his emotions from what happened with the trauma of my mother. this was a miracle. a miracle. a miracle. and so, he would move away... starting his new job during the sixteenth month of this journey, july 13 i know at this point i will be travelling soon and leaving anyways, but could not leave my dad... and so the universe had him leave to set me free. i spent the rest of the month knowing he would move away, and likely i would too. but where? i saw him many times. gave him reiki too. we all went to the cottage together, him, his partner, me, and mine. summer solstice. peace. love. sixteen months i released all of my limitations. i chose love, abundance, freedom, health, bliss. i released my dad, my cat, my childhood home... [never grow up describes this situation]... a 21st birthday, really, a goodbye to my family... i booked a plane ticket. a month and a week to California. knowing, that it would be longer than that one month and a week. myself and my partner. one carry on and personal item. my self soverignty. my dreams. my abundance [first five figure month!!!] i left taylor. i left behind the city i always lived in to follow my dreams and passion. i'm living in my dream location. mountains. forests. lakes. a sacred site in Nor Cal. a childhood dream, if you will. a new life begins the night before i leave i see that you had an album out. folklore. i didn't know, because i had been going through so much stuff within my life that anything that happened online was not present in my life. i listened to caridgan for a few seconds. didn't feel right. i let you go...[knowing, like always, your music will come to me at the exact right time] i got on the plane. three layovers. an overnight train. i begin my new life on the mountain. begin again. seventeen months i am not the same. i have grown. i have healed. my time in the mountain has been the most groundbreaking, expansive, philisophical, healing time of my entire life. feeling like one month was twenty lifetimes of healing and growth. healing all of my childhood wounds, fears, pains. being of service in my business, providing healing for over 55 people. but... it was here where it started to break apart. that one last thing. i let go of the home. the cat. the family. the stuff. there was 1 more thing to let go of... eighteen months kyle, was his name you know. and of course, when we are hurt we go into the victim mindset right away. it is instinct. predetor and prey. it is conditioned into us. this time, after completing a cycle of 3 relationships of emotional manipulation, disrespect, not being loved the way i loved... i took full ownership for it. for manipulating MYSELF. for disrespecting MYSELF. for not loving MYSELF the way I love another. thats when the relationship healing and karma happens. when you take complete ownership for your own mistreatment knowing that this person was simply a mirror of the own hate, anger, and fear you have about yourself. it happened on september 2nd, under the full moon. it started, anyways. i was called to l.a out of Nor Cal. With him. and we Went. This is where the fun part starts, the intention behind this entire story but we're only getting to it right now because of course, I am a writer. The main message has to be supported by a story, right? on september 6th, we had a midnight train. i wanted to listen to music to help me release leaving the city i was living in in Nor Cal, cuz I had grown fairly attached to it. cardigan came into my life. [which i realize as i am writing this and listening to it, the version i have always listened to is the cabin one,... which I am just seeing you realeased on my birthday!!!! july 30th. how interesting] it fell into place this night. and i was meant to hear it now; your music has always been like a spirit guide to me. always a message when i need it. we had a midnight train. my partner got a nosebleed on the way...[stepping on the last train, marked me like a blood stain...] i knew in my heart we would be breaking up... the day before the flight to l.a, the day before the fires, i knew we would be breaking up in l.a. the night that invisable strings was introduced into my life, via my dear soul friend Emma. i knew that this song spoke of my memories and experiences with l.a. l.a was always a place for me to find self empowerment, bravery, and self worth. being the place that i endured my first break up in, l.a taught me self love. i knew that an invisable string was bringing me back to l.a, and really... back to [myself]. despite knowing what was to happen, i held myself through the flight to l.a. it's not like we officially broke up that day, but i knew going on this flight that since i was facing my biggest fears in real life that i would be about to experience my fear of being alone. i flew the day that san fransisco was orange. tiny little 13 row plane. deep fear of planes. in a moment of deep intuition and love, i opened my heart to hold space for the people on the plane that were also terrified of the fires and landing somewhere that was orange. holding people, holding space, through what could be seen on an Earthly scale as a trauma. moving past my own fears and negative thoughts and holding the emotions of love and safety. it was a big moment for me. i listened to invisable strings dyuring the plane ride. and two days later was when my fire happened. september 11 is when we officially broke up.. when i chose to stand up for myself, for my own love + respect, when i knew that i had to leave a toxic and co-dependent relationship... you know, i thought a tsunami was going to happen that day or something and i was going to die. i literally thought this was what was going to happen; but the death that happened was not physical, but the death of a relationship. we were in l.a until the 18th, in the same apartment, trying our best to go through our breakup while living with eachother. still getting groceries together [chasing shadows in the grocery line]... i could barely function. i know you know what co-dependent relationships can get like. beginning to function on your own without the love from them is hell. [cue. this is me trying] having a hard time adjusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! letting go of this love. knowing i need to leave. we were in l.a until the 18th, in the same apartment, trying our best to go through our breakup while living with eachother. still getting groceries together [chasing shadows in the grocery line]... the ocean took me down; pulled my knee out. the day after telling my partner i need to do everything on my own and we be completely separate whilst living in this apartment together for at least a week. knowing we likely would stay till oct.my bodies way of still needing to rely on him. coping mechinisms. breakdowns. [pouring my heart out to a stranger, but i didn't pour the whiskey...] (This lyric. After my first relationship, I turned to alcohol. I got very dependent on this, and this runs in my family. It took me until a significant event at a party in 2017 for me to stop, i know you know what i mean. So it was a big deal for me, despite all temptations, to not turn to alcohol). i knew i had to leave l.a our host was offering us to stay until oct 1. i was 100% sure i was, despite living in the apartment with kyle, through breakup [not your typical i hate u breakup tho, one of deep love and mutual, conscious respect and love for eachother] going to stay. esp with how my body was, and my knee. and... if i went back home to Nor Cal, I knew i'd be going alone. And I knew my partner couldn't financially sustain himself at the time to stay anywhere other than back home. I knew he would have to quarentine for 14 days. I knew that by making this decision I would be completely cut off from him. i went to cancel our flight back to Nor Cal. 34 hours before. i was going to stay and stay in a place with a man who didn't have enough self love and worth yet to be able to love me properly. and then it happened. continue to financially support him. continue to love him uncontiionally. and then... sept 16 11:30pm the last excuse. the last invalidation. the last disrespect. the last act of hatred. the last act of emotional manipulation. the last time the gas light would ever turn on. i do not cancel my flight. i walked away. i chose myself. i messaged everybody that i knew to ask for help and support. i knew that this would be the hardest thing I ever had to do. i had to walk away from whom i know on a soul level to be my husband. i know. i know. i know. i know when we have both healed we will come back together in harmonious union; our relationship was all about growing. but it was time to grow apart, in order to grow back together with a stable individual foundation. the last day was magic. it was a new moon. santa monica beach. sunset. shopping. swimming. we allowed ourself to have a night of love. we knew that this was at the basis of our connection; true, undying, eternal, uncondtional love. we will always love each other in a deeper way than can be described in words. no painting, song, piece of poetry could describe this love. and it was painful. painful to love so deeply and openly and vulnerabily, knowing that come 6am I would be headed to the airport It was the most open and vulnerable I have ever been. Allowing myself to openly love so deeply despite knowing what was to come in just some short hours. I really poured my heart out. I opened up. I was vulnerable. I was my true self. And it was one of the best nights of my life, September 17th in Santa Monica, under the New Moon. we stayed up together all night holding each other. sharing a few last kisses. talking about our favourite memories each month of our relationship [i know they said the end was near...] we didn't sleep all night. the alarm went off, 4:50am. time to go. i packed everything the night before. i tied up my lose ends. we held eachother deeply. the final alarm went off, 5:10am. the pink sunrise in the uber on the way to the airport. the way that he didn't cancel his flight to go through security with me. not getting a coffee to spend every last second with him. and we sat in the airport and cried our hearts out. holding each other. crying. in front of anyone who cared to see. knowing one hour before boarding i had to take myself to the bathroom so that i could cry and prepare myself to fly [note: hopefully the airport worker knew we were gunna be okay] 7:48am, i knew the alarm was going to go off in two minutes. i take my power back and stand up, turning the alarm off. i said i have to go now or I will not get on the flight. i tell him he needs to walk away first. i can't do it. no. i'll feel abandoned. i have to be the one. i hugged him. one time. i said goodbye. i wished him well. i told him i love him. i put my backpack on. i get my stuff together. one last hug... one last kiss... and i pulled away. i walked away from the man that i know one day will be my husband and the father to my children to follow my own path of self discovery and worth and love. of healing. walking up to the airline worker, telling her my partner would not be coming on the flight with me. "okay, Miss, i will remove him from your party and from the flight," i held myself together. i did. the best i could. good thing i didn't sleep because that kept me at least less emotional and breaking down than i thought i would be. "now boarding flight xxxx to Sacramento, boarding rows 10-13..." i got myself on the plane. i couldn't believe i was doing this. how am i doing this? i knew when i sat in my seat and the plan began to prepare for departure, that i was completing a cycle of three. a cycle of relationship karma that began with my first, where we broke up on my birthday, 2016 in l.a... completing a cycle where i base my worth on another person, depend on another person, allow myself to get walked over... it was done. i asked that when i took off into the sky from the plane, the perfect line of the perfect song was playing... when i first had my breakup in l.a 2016, i was at a play to support my friend and actress. in this play, she sang a song called brave. this song, and message, got me through my first breakup. she was my rock and i swear the reason i made it through the night of that. l.a 2018, she wrote brave for a tattoo for me. we stopped talking for a while; i learned to be brave for myself. l.a 2020, the moment the plane takes off of the ground... [wool to BRAVE the seasons...] the moment you sang brave; the plane took off. a rush of feeling so proud for myself. knowing i chose me. knowing i chose a journey of self love. knowing i chose a journey of self worth. knowing i chose a journey of self empowerment. i sit here in my soul sister's apartment whilst she is cross-country, writing this. one week after i got back to Nor Cal. One week since my entire life shifted. And I am in the journey. The journey to self love, confidence, worth, empowerment, etc is not just a destination. There is a journey behind it all. It happens to contain a lot of crying. A lot of feeling. Some music. Friends. Good food. A warm coffee from the local coffee shop. Candles. Insence. Journal(S). Rest. Yoga. Meditation. Qigong. Reiki. Fuzzy socks. Oversized fluffy sweaters. Soft blankets. Stuffed animals. Books. Singing bowls. Love. And so, this is where I am. September 25th, seven months later. Wow. Writing this journey out and putting it on paper really makes me feel some things. It makes me feel fucking empowered. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel brave. It makes me feel fearless. It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel authentic. And with all authenticity, I had to be authentic with myself when I began to write this. Your music has been that constant. I have said it before, and I will say it again. Everything has always left my life but your music has always stayed. Your music has always found me in the right time in the right place. It has always supported me. You have always supported me. I was thinking back today, in a state of elevated joy allowing myself to feel happy that I got the opportunity to meet you through my life journey so far. And that... us meeting had to mean something. There is an invisable string there. There has to be a reason that during all of this your music was there for me. There has to be a reason it came to me in the time that it did. There is a reason for everything. So I write this, with a prayer that you will see this, but a surrender to the knowingness that what is meant to happen is going to happen. Also, a surrender to if anybody actually reads this! This is who I am, raw, vulnerable, authentic. I will always speak my truth, share my journey, and love Taylor Swift. Don't we all? Taylor, if you are reading this... from my soul to yours; thank you. thank you. thank you. seriously, for what you give up to be able to spread these messages via your music in such a global way. i completely see and understand what you have given up to do this. i love you. i love you. i love you. thank you for seeing me. thank you for hearing me. thank you for acknowledging me. thank you for validating me. thank you for loving me. see you next update, your friend Sarah.

[4point7]

CRASH: A Deadpool Fiction

Written in response to @firefly-in-darkness​ ‘s Winter Writing Challenge.

Prompt: Unexpected visitor on Christmas Eve

Characters: Deadpool x Reader

Warnings: 18+ (Smut), Guns, Elton John, Unicorn, Corn Hole, Use of the word vociferated, guarenteed panty wetter.

Word Count: 2,462

You said your good nights and Merry Christmasses to your family in the corridor. The giddiness and glee of Christmas has never left you. You couldn't help but feel excited knowing that in just a few hours you would all be together again celebrating your favourite day of the year in the wonderful city of Manhattan. You closed the hotel door behind you, took a couple of steps, raised your arms and flung yourself on to the luxury duvet. The bedding engulfed you in it's thick, soft grasp. You let out a long, satisfied sigh as you gazed at the ceiling. The Christmas lights of the world outside were cascading through the window and illuminating the ceiling with splashes of beautiful colours. You could here the occasional sounds of passers by singing Christmas songs as they enjoyed the last hours of festivities on the eve of the big day. The butterflies in your stomach took flight as you reveled in the joy of the occasion and the anticipation of the day ahead.

"Hey Siri, play Christmas Hits". With an obedient acknowledgment your phone kicked into action and Step Into Christmas by Elton John started to project out of it's speakers. You leaped to your feet and started to dance around the room as you got undressed. You threw your clothes wherever you pleased as you twirled around the room. First your Santa hat is flung on to the bed post, your shoes are kicked off in to the corner of the room, your blouse thrown on to the chair, jeans over the TV, bra draped on the lampshade and finally your red Christmas panties landed in the trash can under the vanity table. As your de-robing came to an end, so too did the song and you launched yourself on to the bed once more. The soft fabric of the sheets felt delightful against your bare skin. It gave you that same warm, cosy feeling like sitting by an open fire with a hot drink on a thundery night in winter. You ran your fingers along the smooth folds of the bedding and up to the pillow. You knew you shouldn't, not here, not with a pillow that is not your own but you couldn't help yourself. It's Christmas Eve after all, you deserve to treat yourself. The bedding is so delicate you just know it will feel good. You climbed to your knees, grabbed the pillow, placed it between your thighs, lowered yourself down on to it and started to gently grind yourself back and forth. You were right, maybe it was the silky texture against you or maybe it was knowing that you shouldn't be doing it but it felt fantastic and you could feel yourself getting slick with each movement of your hips. You arch your back and look up at the dancing lights as you press down onto the pillow. Then suddenly, from outside, there arose such a clatter. The lights on the ceiling vanished for a second as something obscured them, then... *CRASH* A red figure came hurtling through your window. You let out a shrill scream and scrambled to gather as much of the duvet as possible to cover your innocence. "Cover her innocence. HA. The girl was playing giddy up pony butt naked with a hotel pillow. Any innocence she had has been left the other side of that hotel door!" The man mumbled seemingly to no one in particular as he rose to his feet. You could do nothing but stare in shock, transfixed in terror. Snowflakes and cold air were spilling in through the now shattered window. You watched as the virgin white snow stained red as it blended with the blood left on the floor. You followed the red stream with your eyes to the feet of the man now stood in the middle of your room and guided your eyes up his body. He was dressed all in red and black. You let out a frightened gasp as you saw that he was strapped with a whole host of weapons. You scuttled backwards and pressed your back hard against the wall as if to get as far away as possible. You notice now that his face is covered by a mask with two ghostly white eyes staring straight in your direction. You let out another scream. As if caught off guard he raises his hands to his mouth and let's out a scream of his own. "Don't do that, you scared me", he says in a tone riddled with sarcasm. "I'm probably not the man in a red suit you were expecting tonight! I'm a whole lot less jolly and a heap more Big Dick Energy. Let me introduce myself, I am Deadpool. You can call me Dead, Mr. Pool, D. Piddy, Duff Paddy or any other cool sounding shit you can come up with. And despite my strapping physique and assortment of highly deadly weaponry, I mean no harm to you. If anything, I should be scared of you, looks like you're packing a couple of bazookas there!" You pull the covers higher up and pull them close around your neckline. Then you just sit there, trembling through both fear and the cold as you gape at him. He wasn't lying about his physique. You notice the outline of his muscles under his skin tight suit. "I am incredibly sorry about the window thing, I was just having a little altercation with a friend and next thing you know, I have been thrown through a pane of glass. Standard Christmas Eve, right?" He let out a laugh and started to walk towards the window. "You know what? I will be back to apologise properly in a minute, I just need to have a quick word with my friend". He looked up to the ceiling and began to talk to it, "Don't you dare stop reading. I totally need to bang this hottie in a few paragraphs!" And with that he jumped out into the cold. You startle as you hear a gun shot from the street outside, a few moments pass and he reappears at the window again. You couldn't see his mouth but you could tell he was smiling. "Conversation over". He climbed back inside, the shards of glass cracking underfoot as he approached the side of the bed. "Now for my apology. Hey Siri, play Bump n' Grind by R. Kelly". The song starts to stream from somewhere on his person. *My mind's telling me no... but my body... my bodies telling me yeeeees* Deadpool speaks over the music, "You know what? In hindsight, this song is a little creepy and it's certainly not festive enough. Let's try something different. Hey Siri, play All I Want For Christmas Is You". The track skips. "Much better". You didn't know what it was. If it was his muscle clad frame, his so called big dick energy or just the plot having to be pushed forward regardless of narrative to a point at which the two of you are fucking, but you felt strangely attracted to him all of a sudden. You loosened your grip on the sheets and let them drop to your waist revealing your nip nips. Deadpool looked up to the ceiling again "Sweet Christmas, if you look half as good IRL as you are making yourself out to be here, I need to ride that horse to happy town. P.S. sorry Luke Cage, I didn't mean to steal your catchphrase." He looks back down at you. Your nipples were as hard as senior year Algebra because of the now freezing cold room but you didn't care. You whipped the cover completely off of your body revealing your sloppy south mouth. It was as wet a whales blow hole down there! "Well, this escalated quickly. Thank you writer!" He unbuckled his belt and his assortment of guns clattered to the floor. "Well, if we are releasing our weapons, let me introduce you to...", he reached in to his pants and lopped out his ginormous sex pistol. "... my weapon of ass destruction!" he exclaims. "Sorry mate, I ain't feeling in to butt stuff tonight. I haven't prepared the rocky road to be ventured by a wayward traveler tonight", you reply. "... My weapon of fanny destruction", he corrects himself. "It just doesn't have the same ring to it. Oh well," he shrugs. He steps forward and you see his pleasure sausage in all it's glory. It. Is. Huge. It is also knobbly as fuck which is a little grotesque but you think to yourself, "Fuck it, I bet that bobbly boy bone will feel bonza rearranging my guts." You leap in to action, open your mouth like hungry trout and gobble up his shaft. You take it right the way down inside you. It feels so deep that the only explanation is that his bellend must be half way around your large intestine by now. He bounced his hips up and down and your whole body is thrown up and down with the motion, slapping haphazardly against the bed. You are like a skewered pig! Your minge juice is splattering all over the walls as you flop about. He reaches over and spanks your ass hard. If you like it, he keeps doing it. If you don't, he stops. Whatever you want really. You probably like it. You try to say speak but you can't, what with being all full with the purple helmeted warrior of love. Your speech just comes out like this, "gch gyt cfrrrrch zkkkr glk pffft". "What was that?" he says as he pulls his manhood from inside you leaving you feeling empty like a gutted fish! "I said fuck me, Duff Paddy!" You plead. "I take it back, don't call me Duff Paddy that totes ain't cool". "Fine, fuck me like I'm on the naughty list and you're Santa teaching me a lesson". He slaps your face so hard that you spin 180 degrees on the bed, your slime well now facing him, ready to give him the toothless blowjob of his life! He reaches over to the bed post, grabs your Santa hat that landed their earlier and places it on his head. Then rams his candy cane cock right up inside you and starts talking in a deep voice, "Listen here Y/N, I hear that you are on the naughty list". "I am Santa, I have been a naughty girl. You should teach me a lesson". His deep voice booms out again as his bumpy womb broom penetrates your entire body. "The hypotenuse is the longest side of a right angle triangle", he bellows. "It is located on the opposite side to the right angle itself". This is not the lesson that you had in mind but fuck it, his winky felt pretty alright inside you so let's just crack on with it. You do loads of moans and stuff as the knowledgeable St. Nick rattles off math facts. Your pink penis palace is a slobbery mess like Fang from the Harry Potter franchise. The squelch of your fanny is so intense that with each thrust it sounds like an army of elves are juicing oranges in perfect harmony. With each energised pound it feels like a coil is tightening in your stomach drawing you closer and closer to climax as the fuckery intensifies. He stops and pulls out for a second before shoving his entire hand up your cooch. He starts groping about like and old man searching the bedside cabinet for his dentures in the dark. He grabs hold of what he has been searching for and pulls his hand out. "What in the name Santa's workshop is this tightening coil doing inside your foof?" He throws the coil out of the broken window and sticks his mangled meat all up inside you again. You cum anyway, turns out the coil had fuck all to do with it. And boy is it a big old cum. You scream really loud. Like "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS. I'M A FUCKING UNICORN ON A RAINBOW ROCKET." Fuck knows why you shouted that last bit but you did. Your entire body shakes like a bowl full of jelly. You're shaking so hard that you vibrate off the bed and hit the floor where you continue to pulsate. This is how your vibrator must feel when it falls off the bed post orgasm. Deadpool rushes over, picks you up from the floor and places you on your knees in front of him before sitting on the side of the bed, his tally wacker throbbing in your face. "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, Y/N. Make Santa's dream cum true and suck that slush right out my schlong". You don't need to be told twice. You gobble, gobble, gobble like a Christmas Turkey. You salivate on that clam hammer like a toothless grandma eating a humbug. "OH BABY JESUS, STICK A FINGER IN CORN HOLE", he shouts. Not usually your thing but we are nearing the end of the story now and you really want to taste that eggnog. As his bauble-esque nuts clap against your chin you slip your finger in. It didn't take long once your finger tickled his taint and entered his puckered poop chute (FYI no actual poop present, clean as a whistle. No icky stuff going on here) for Deadpool Santa to start emptying his sack and unloading his Christmas presents deep inside your throat hole. His cum started to explode from your mouth like when you overfill a mince pie with whipped cream. "HO, HO, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he vociferated as he cummed. You swallowed it all up (because you were raised right) and got to your feet as Deadpool put his cock back in his pants. "Well that was fun," he said. "Hell yeah it was," you replied with a giggle. You gave each other a high five and he made his way back to the broken window. Laying a finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod out the window he rose. You watched as he disappeared into the night and heard him bellow in to the sky, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night". The End. Have yourself a merry little Christmas. ... "Psst, writer! It's Deadpool. Just so you know, I found your jumping between present and past tenses wildly inconsistent and frankly lazy writing. If I wasn't getting my willy wet in this one I would have left this story a long time ago. I can't be associated with this kind of shabby story telling. I probably would have hung around to watch Y/N getting off on the pillow though. That shit was hot!"

[peachesncreampies]

"There’s a lesbian (one cis woman, one nonbinary-lesbian) couple that live two doors down and they help Metal Bat with it. He calls them ma’ and pa’, affectionately. (IF ASKED I WILL TALK MORE ABOUT THIS. It’s this little au i made and it’s so cute uwu)" YESS PLEASE TALK MORE I'M GONNA ASK YOU ABOUT THIS LIL GEM OF AU 👀✨

You are welcome to ask me about this gem au of mine all the time, darling little anon. Let’s begin.

Badd’s parent’s died when he was 14 and zenko was ~3

they died in a monster attack, and because OPM has a shitty CPS and fostercare system, they were just never put in it

so Badd uses his inheritance money to get an apartment, and immediately joins the HA, which is the only job you can make a living off of as a 14 year old boy who’s only talent is skipping school and hitting shit really hard

two doors down, are the lesbian couple

the moved in about 2 months before the metal bat fam, so of course they’re like new neighbors! we’re new neighbors! Let’s be friends!

Metal bat at first is really put off by their sudden appearance in their lives, and distrusts them immediately, zenko on the other hand, immediately takes to them

they offer to babysit zenko while he was at school and while he did hero work

the offer to cook for them when they’re short on cash

one time zenko had a really bad nightmare, and badd couldn’t figure out how to soothe her, so he went to the neighbors, (who i have yet to name. will probably do a poll on what to name them at a later date, depending on the success of this post)

neighbors soothed her in half an hour, and finally gained his trust

they ended up interrupting the couples date movie night, which was really just a two litter bottle of pepsi, a frozen pizza and a hallmark movie about christmass, but ended up joining

so now every saturday night they have a family movie night

both the neighbors were disowned by their families, so they celebrate new years with just their cat, but now they have badd and zenko!!!

the four of them celebrate new years together!!!

By the way the cat is named peanut butter and it’s a maine coon who loves them both and is such a cuddle slut but knocks shit off the counters all the time

they always go to zenko’s piano recitals.

when badd comes out as genderfluid (he’s genderfluid in this au but uses he/him pronouns unless he specifies he wants otherwise), it’s revealed that the raging he/him lesbian has actually been a he/him enby this whole time

so badd had been so scared of rejection.... and his pa was trans

at that point zenko and him knew them for a few years, zenko always called them ma’ and pa’ but after he came out was the first time he called them that

spoiler alert they all cried and then went and got ice cream

they totally loan badd some of their skirts and dresses on his more feminine days (remember he’s 5′6′’)

eventually the HA is like... where are your parents????

and he lists them..

and the HA is like... you’re parents are lesbians????

and he’s like yeah? you gotta a problem??

they have punched people who talked shit about metal bat

the H.A. came to their door once to talk about his skipping school problem

I THINK THAT’S A RUN DOWN ON IT. IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ON SPECIFIC POINTS FEEL FREE TO ASK.

[justsmilestuffhappens]

7 Free day [Songs]

F!ve Christmasses

<*buckle up*>

A Christmas that never was

A - Another Christmas, Another empty house, Another reason,There is no Santa Claus, May all your Christmasses be white,Though mine are blue, It's just another Christmas without you

Buck took another swig from his glass that matched his eyes. Not that he could notice that with how watery they were now.

Who was he to ask them to stay though?

The music station he'd landed on was ironically perfect for how he felt but horrible at the same time.

What was he supposed to have told them even if he did? 'Take me with you'?

Buck looked at a picture of Christopher and Eddie from when they went to the zoo together a while back.

A ding interrupted the song as he saw Eddie had sent a message to everyone. It was a picture of Christopher smiling on his back holding a snowball. How cute?

A drop of water fell upon his screen and for a second Buck thought it was his A.C. until he realized no it was him.

Where did the empty hole in his chest come from?

It was just another couple of days then things would go back to normal. Right?

Maddie and Chimney were on their honeymoon. Hen and Karen had their new child who was warming to them and Denny. Bobby and Athena had May back with them and Harry and were celebrating Michael's recovery.

When would he finally be able to do something about his feeling?

Buck took the bottle and before he could have a second thought downed the half that was left, straight into the sink. He wouldn't put Bobby through seeing him like this, had to stop it now before. Just before.

He grabbed some water and began his trek up the stairs letting the darkness claim the lower floor.

Sip after slow sip Buck got his eye's clearer. He sent a "hope you're having fun, give my little bud a hug for me please" before silencing his phone.

Feeling emotional drained even when he'd done was nothing but sit around and cry for a bit Buck settled into bed. His comforter welcomed him not like a warm hug but as a hollow one.

12:01 am. The clock read. "Merry Christmas." He whispered to no one.

In the morning he'd be fine. He'd shower get to work and go to the party he'd been invited to later. Alone.

But for now he just needed to sleep. To forget about how miserable he felt for a couple of hours.

It wasn't anyone's fault.

Why did they have to leave?

He missed them so much. Did they miss him too? He wished they'd come back as his thoughts drifted into sleep.

A Christmas that was meant to be

β - Feeling Christmas all around, And I'm trying to play it cool, but it's hard to focus when I see you walking around the room, let it snow, it's blasting now, but I won't get in the mood, I'm avoiding every mistletoe until in know, it's true love that he thinks of, so next Christmas, I'm not all alone, boy

"Where did all the mistletoe go?" Chimney asked Hen as they walked upstairs.

Buck was sitting with Eddie. This two day Christmas was looking to be a dull one.

No very close or exciting calls but they weren't complaining on this Christmas eve. They'd be home for a bit tomorrow but back in later on in the day.

"Yeah. I noticed that too. Did Bobby tell you anything about it?" Eddie asked looking back at Buck.

"Huh? No. Maybe we lost a few last year or they were getting old and falling apart." Buck shrugged while sipping some hot chocolate Bobby made earlier.

They wouldn't find where Buck had stashed them. Well not till after Boxing day and it'd be too late by then. No kiss grenades this holiday season.

Eddie got up to get himself a cup as Buck's eyes never left him. Hen and Chim may have seen him but they didn't say anything though however painful it was to watch.

"So buck, you coming with Maddie and me for Christmas or ya got other plans?" Chim asked from hiding his hand of cards from Hen.

"Yeah. Probably party hop. Think Eddie's gonna have his abuela over and said I was welcome to swing by. How 'bout y'all Hen?"

"We're going to Athena's to drop off some gifts and visit for a bit then it's a movie marathon while watching Denny play with the new stuff he gets this year."

Eddie came back to sit by Buck taking a good warm gulp.

"Mhm. It's no Abuela hot chocolate but Bobby made it pretty good." He hummed sitting closer as they watched a rerun on t.v..

The alarm blared as Bobby came out of his office.

"Snow machine buried a guy who was drunk on the job. We're closest, let's go."

Buck didn't plan for the others finding the mistletoe hidden under spare heat blankets in the storeroom when they got back.

"Weren't you the last one on cleanup duty?" Hen said looking at him from over the box.

"Oh! That's where they were. I must have came to get something and forgot. Good thing too with all the cold and flu going around really." Buck looked anywhere but at the team as Bobby took the box and placed it in his arms.

"Well it's a good thing we found them before Christmas was over huh? Why don't you go finishing hanging them like I told you to before and I'll get started on dinner." His words left no room for protest even if buck never would anyways.

When he was done putting up the box Eddie laughed at him. "What's so funny?" Buck had to ask.

"This your way of telling people to kiss your ass?" Eddie asked pointing behind Buck.

He felt the mistletoe he'd forgotten in his back pocket. "No. I'm just distracted I guess" buck shook his head.

"You feeling okay?" Eddie asked coming over to feel his forehead.

"Don't dad me. I won't hear the end of it from Bobby." He joked.

"Can't wait to be off so we can relax with mi Abuela and Christopher tomorrow man."

"Well we've only got a couple hours. With any luck we'll be out before the next big call."

As fate would have it buck jinxed them with a house fire from someone deep frying their turkey in the middle of their dinner at the firehouse."I'm sorry." Buck said as they were on their way.

"Not your fault the universe likes picking the worst time Buck." With the fire out they were able to go home.

Buck went to his and picked up some clothes before going to spend the night at Eddie's to Chris's surprise. It was a good Christmas.

"Mistletoe Buck" Christopher shouted as he came back with popcorn before they opened a gift at midnight.

Buck froze as Eddie kissed his cheek then continued into the living room.

He winked at buck but before he could ask they were fully into opening all their gifts except the ones that Abuela would be bringing over. Buck had to ask him later if that was a one time thing.

A Christmas that almost wasn't

− · − ·  / I'll find my way back home, And light up every tree, We will hang our stockings for you and one for me, 'Cause Santa called me to make sure I'm prepared, He said "Pack your bags and tell them You'll be there",

Buck could put up with anything for them, he would put up with everything for them. Once he was done he'd be coming home.

His dad's passing right now was like one final act of spite against them. Buck didn't care about their inheritance, or the house, or the cars. But responsibility fell on him with mom gone and Maddie in her current state.

At least one of them had to come and with Maddie pregnant he'd bit the bullet. He always would.

Their dad wasn't some monster, more so a ghost before he was even dead. Buck barely remembered much of the time they spent together.

He'd been here since the beginning of December. One week became two and a half and he was getting desperate. With the funeral already long passed and only the house left he was glad they'd been understanding of Maddie skyping for the reading the will.

It was lucky someone already wanted the house and the cars weren't something he'd wanted buck to have anyways.

Now all he had to do was get to the airport for the first flight from Hershey to Los Angeles.

A snowstorm chose two days before Christmas to stop Buck's in his tracks. He stayed at the airport praying that he'd make it home but doubtful with what the news said.

He eyed one of the cleaning staff messing with a Christmas tree as he was throwing away his water.

"Come on. Please. Why do you do this every year?" The young guy had muttered as he tried turning it on again.

"Need some help?" Buck asked coming over.

"No. Sorry sir. The tree's just being finicky." He checked the plugs but it wasn't working.

"Have you seen if any of the bulbs are loose?" Buck asked whilst looking at it.

"What?!"

"If people touch it while walking by they could have messed up a bulb. All it takes is one sometimes to mess up a whole string of lights."

Buck helped him look as within a minute bits were back alight. "Holy shit. Sorry I didn't mean to say that. You know your stuff mister."

Buck laughed. He couldn't be more than a couple years older than this guy.

"Yeah. We used to have people decorate our house a lot. You pick up on things even if it's just watching people work." With that Buck moved back to his seat.

He looked at his phone to see a new message. It was a picture of Christopher standing next to a hanging shelf on the wall where their stockings were. His was on the other side of Chris's opposite Eddie.

"We miss you. Can't wait for you to get back. Christopher says to make sure to tell you we love you." Buck reads as he holds his phone closer to his chest as if it's the last source of warmth in a frozen land.

"Just my luck. Snowstorm. I'll tell you as soon as we're about to leave. I'm coming back, one way or another."

Buck fell asleep somehow in those chairs after securing his bag and phone.

He woke to a person dressed as Santa shaking his shoulder. "What?" He said groggy.

"Shh." They covered their lips and beckoned Buck to follow. Buck's body was on autopilot as he followed.

Santa silently pointing at a single present under the tree. Buck hesitated to pick it up and read his name.

As Santa urged him to open it with a wave of his hand, Buck did so.

It was a little ceramic firefighter figurine that looked like him. The kind you put in a little village on a table.

Buck looked up from his hand but Santa was gone. The next thing he noticed was waking up to people talking.

"Flight 811 now boarding." Buck jumped up too quickly as he moved to get in line. With the snowstorm subsiding even for a while he hoped they'd make it out.

He felt around for the figurine but it wasn't anywhere as he looked to where he was seated.

After texting Eddie that he'd had the weirdest dream but he had to turn off his phone soon for the flight the plane took off.

Buck made it home for Christmas eve with a few hours left to spare.

He got to the house just before 11 to Eddie already opening the door pulling him inside for a kiss.

"God I missed you."

"I missed you too. Both of you."

"Christopher's asleep. Take a shower and let's sleep. He's gonna love seeing you in the morning Buck." Eddie brought his bag over to their room as Buck hopped in the shower.

Buck was already asleep in the bed once he'd dried off in only his towel.

Eddie shook his head getting boxer briefs on him so Christopher wouldn't be seeing him naked in the morning. In their rush he couldn't ask Buck about his dream but it didn't sound bad so it could wait.

Christopher was shaking buck awake shouting you're finally back it's Christmas it's Christmas buck! It was the best way to wake up.

"Presents!" Christopher said only for Eddie to correct him.

"Breakfast first?" He said.

"Breakfast can wait. I want to see Christopher open my gift. How about only one then a breakfast break. I'll start it while you and your dad pick one each." Buck suggested kissing both of them as he got up to start.

Christopher opened a new video game as Eddie picked a dress shirt wrapped around a new thermos. Buck was given a present as he placed the food on the table. Inside was a new wallet with a gift card for one of their favorite restaurants in it.

After they quickly finished their eggs Buck went to check his stocking and froze when he looked down at the same figurine from his dream.

"Hmm. That's cute. Hey look Christopher we got our own too." Eddie said beside buck pulling their stockings to spill them out.

"I had a dream about this?"

"Your psychic?" Eddie joked.

"I dreamed Santa gave me this at the airport but I lost it." Buck said still staring at it with wonder.

"Santa brought you back just like I asked him Buck."Christopher said hugging him.

"Aww. You know I'd come back Christopher. Even if it was late I'd come back for you two." Buck said looking up at Eddie.

A knock at the door had Eddie moving to let their guests in.

A Christmas that could be

Д - singing to the deer in the sky, singing as they jingle, jingle, jingle tonight, singing to the moon, set it free, you're the angel on the top of my tree, singing to the spirit above, sing your heart out with all of your love, Santa's coming for us,

Eddie watched as the Christmas lights danced on Buck's face while they wheeled into the park set up.

"So a Santa Claus went dark side and now we've got a Krampus slasher on the loose?" Buck asked Cap while they drew closer to the crowd.

"No. The police have a very naughty Santa. We've got a stabbing victim and some decorations that have become a hazard so we need to clear them as much we can to prevent more injuries." Bobby said coming to a stop with the mess in view. Chimney and Hen pulled up beside them as they hopped out.

Eddie saw why there was a problem with finding the Santa it was like a mini convention. It unsettled him that whoever it was could possibly get away with it.

Hen was treating the stabbing victim while Chimney looked to see if any other bystanders were hurt.

"Buck, Eddie, we're getting this metal reindeer off her. Ma'am stay still until its completely off and we have you looked at. It doesn't seem you were cut too bad but you should still let us treat you. 1. 2. 3." Bobby ordered as they lifted the heavy lawn ornament.

"I'm fine that fucking reindeer isn't gonna kill me."

"I'm glad to hear you're still in high spirits miss but please let us have a look at you."

Chimney came over to check her after putting a neck brace.

"So these things were stacked?" Eddie asked as he and Buck moved the deer away from it being in the way or people touching it.

"Has to be some funky welding sculpture. Must have broken off when they bumped it too hard while evil Santa ran for it." Buck surmised.

"Alright! Santa's who have given statements and shown I.D. you are free to go. If you have any information on the assailant please call the department." Athena shouted before she came over.

"Hi Athena. Did they give a disruption." Bobby asked as she hugged him before pulling away.

"Caucasian male, thirty to forty but he'd got a forearm tattoo of a rabbit and a birthmark on his neck so that's something." Athena gestured.

"Hopefully y'all find him before he hurts someone else." Buck said.

"You know it. Strangest thing is no one in the crowd saw where he ran to. They were too shocked trying to help the victim which while making it harder is worth it since one of them was pre-med and helped as much as they could."

Buck moved with Eddie to try getting more of the heavy decorations further from the walking path that they'd been shoved into.

After they pushed the original reindeer sculpture and some other large decorations Buck heard Eddie before he felt himself being punched in the back of his head. "Ow! What the fuck?"

In the next few seconds things moved too fast. Buck whirled around to defend himself.

Eddie ran back closer from where he'd been going to regroup waiting for buck to catch up.

The anti Santa was suddenly there and pissed off. Buck got a good right hook in before there was suddenly blood.

Everyone froze or at least buck did as he took in what he saw. Eddie was finally over and checking buck before turning to the bad Santa.

A metal angel tree topper had fallen and lodged into his arm with its trumpet?

"Don't pull it out! You need to get to a hospital then you're under arrest." Eddie told him while his anger seemed to deflate.

Buck looked past Eddie's shielding him with his body while rubbing his head.

"You're under arrest. We're gonna get you treated and booked sir." Athena said coming over as the Santa gave up.

With him in cuffs and his arm wrapped until he'd gets to the hospital in a second ambulance things were finally calm again.

"Buck keep the ice. Chimney says you don't have a concussion but you feel the slightest bit bad I expect to be told." Bobby said while they packed up what little gear they used.

"Hey Eddie. Santa Claus is coming to Ow!" Buck said inside the truck earning a shake of Eddie's head while Bobby radioed that was a strike for Buck having a concussion earning a groan of I can't make bad jokes?

Eddie wanted to hit him for joking but that would contradict his desire of wanting to see buck hurt. "He was in the box. Guy must be a contortionist." Eddie told buck which only earned a shocked gasp from buck and a quiet no way.

Once they were back in the station he was watching Buck like a hawk along with Bobby as they waited for Hen and Chim.

"You know the last time someone looked at me that hard we had sex" buck joked trying to lighten the mood.

"Like you could handle me, especially right now." Eddie scoffed.

"I don't have a concussion! And I can handle a lot of things, you'd be surprised. Haven't gotten any complaints yet." Buck puffed his chest and wiggled an eyebrow.

"I'm not looking for a one night stand though buck." Eddie regretted how that sounded.

"Who said it's gotta be one. I may not be buck 1.0 but I've got his experience. Just don't go for random hookups anymore." Buck came over.

"Are you just asking me out because you got hit in the head?" Eddie turned to look buck in the eye.

"Maybe that punch was the kick in my ass i needed to finally ask you what I've been too scared to."

"Ask me later, after you're all good. If you still feel like it."

"I will. I'll ask you a million times if I have to. I'm serious. I've been thinking about us for a while I just didn't want to risk anything"

"Good. I look forward to you asking me out at the Christmas party Bobby's hosting with Athena."

With that they went back to sitting around waiting for the next call. Hen and chimney joined as Bobby finished their late lunch.

Buck wasn't lying. He'd ask Eddie again tomorrow and have Hen say he didn't have a concussion too.

But for now he was content to sit here together. At least it was out in the open now and there was hope.

How Christmas should be

5 - I found, what I was looking for, a love that's meant for me, a heart that's mine completely, knocked me right off my feet, and this year I will fall, with no worries at all, 'Cause you are near and everything's clear, you're all I need, underneath the tree

Buck felt electrified like a living Christmas light. Today was the day he'd finally put it out there. He thought Eddie felt something too and it felt right.

Once they were off he'd confess that he'd slowly been falling deeper and deeper in love with his best friend. He had to find out if they could be more.

Their shift had been long with only one major call of kids breaking a fire hydrant and causing havoc with multiple injuries but not too bad that anyone would need to be hospitalized.

As buck was getting ready for the shift to end and to tell Eddie about them the alarm blared.

The shift in temperature had caused the ground to unsettle and a couple to slide off a cliff.

They'd gotten the first woman up but her girlfriend was further down.

Buck repelled lower to get her as Eddie was set to descend with the other girl safe above now.

Buck got a harness on her and they began pulling her up along side him when a large rock fell towards them.

Before buck could think of anything else he moved to shield her and took a hit to his helmet.

Eddie screamed his name as they continued to pull her up.

Buck looked to be okay as he followed behind her being taken into Eddie's guidance.

Once they were topside Eddie was asking if buck was okay while Bobby and hen took the other girl.

"I'm fine dude. My helmet took the most of-"

Before buck could finish he was tumbling. He didn't know if it was his adrenaline leaving him or his injury finally feeling so painful but he felt as Eddie got him before he could full hit the ground.

With his helmet off they could see the lump forming.

"Damn it. Thank God you're off the blood thinners finally." He couldn't tell who said it but guessed it was Eddie.

"We'll take him in ourselves. Hen, the girls are good right?" Bobby said as they moved him over to the ambo.

"They only had a few minor scrapes. Chim and I got him. You two can follow." They were at the hospital in a blur. So much for today being the day. His plan was ruined.

"It's just a mild concussion. You'll be fine. Stay with us Buck" chimney said besides him on the way.

"It's ruined."

"What's ruined?"

"I was gonna tell Eddie"

"Tell him what? You've still got time, "

"That I-"

"Buck. BUCK open your eyes! buck buddy no, stay awake man."

He woke to Maddie sitting next to him on her phone as the tv was quiet.

"Good. You're awake." She said looking over. "You gave us a little scare."

"What time is it?"

"It's 10 thirty. You've been in here for a good two hours. Doctor says you'll be fine but don't want you pushing yourself too soon."

"I'm ruining Christmas"

"No. Christmas is fine. You might be out if your next results are good. Even if you did have to stay here, it's not a problem for us to visit you here or wait a couple days for you to get out." Maddie put a comforting hand on him.

"Is Eddie okay?"

"Why wouldn't he be? He's safe at home with Christopher. Its a little late to visit but if we're still here he said he'd stop by tomorrow. You aren't in pain and you're talking fine. Hopefully those are good enough signs towards you getting out."

The doctor explained more. Buck could leave now but they would suggest he stay. However if he's careful and being watched by others she felt he would be fine.

With Buck signed out Maddie and him got to her place where Chimney was waiting with a late dinner. "Dude I'm starving." Buck said smelling the food.

"You're always hungry Buck. Figures with how big you are your body needs the extra energy" chimney said as buck looked over to see his bag and gifts from his place in the living room.

"I got your stuff from work then wrung by yours after. You'll get to do what you said tomorrow after you rest." Chimney said knowing smirk on his face.

"What did buck say earlier?"

"Nothing mads."

"That he-"

"I had a concussion! Wasn't I a patient? Isn't this a breach of trust or something?"

"He might have said he needed to tell Eddie something." Chimney said earning an exaggerated face.

"Is that why you asked if he was okay at the hospital?"

"There's no breach of trust if you brought it up to her buck. And from what we've seen, concussion or not you two are obvious to everyone but yourselves."

"You really do have a boy crush."

"Stop calling it that. Sure Eddie's attractive, and. I may like him more than a friend should." Buck quieted at the end.

"Don't tell him this but I've caught him checking you out before." Chimney said.

"What?"

"Maybe it's not so one sided Buck. Just talk to him." Maddie looked at him with understand.

After that awkward but supportive dinner and some good sleep they were up and ready for the get together with the others.

Everyone promised to open their gifts together before some of them had duty later in the day.

Buck took a gulp of eggnog as he waited for a chance to talk to Eddie face to face.

He came in with Christopher and they helped get the gifts from Eddie's truck.

Once the kids were gleefully playing with their newest toys buck took the chance.

"Can I talk to you outside for a second?"

"Sure buck. Let me get my jacket."

So they took to the front as the kids were in the back and in Harry's room.

"Yesterday I was planning to tell you something important."

"Hen might have told me."

"What?"

"She just said we needed to talk. You said so in the ambulance before we had to leave you to finish our shift then it was too late to take Christopher for only a half hour before he needed to be in bed."

"Yeah. That's okay. It would have been nice but I still got to see him and give him my gift today." Buck said. "But about that. I know we're friends. I know I might come off as straight but I-."

"You're not the only one."

Buck continued on needed to get this out before realizing what Eddie said.

"I've been into guys before, I just haven't been into many, not as quickly as I was into you. I want that for us. I know that it might be hard but I feel like we could have something."

"I think. No. I know I'm in love with you. I'm willing to try this but I don't want to lose you." Eddie said pulling buck closer.

"You won't. I'll always be here. Its where I want to be with you. I love you two, both of you."

"We need to talk about other things. I have to tell you stuff you deserve to know and the truth."

"I'm here. Whenever you're ready. Now or tomorrow but soon if it's important. As long as we're in this together we've got as much time as you need."

Buck finally did something he'd been thinking about doing for a while. He kissed Eddie the way he wanted. The way he deserved to be kissed. They stayed there with their foreheads connected breathing as the cold air blew.

"I can't believe they knew about us wanting this." Buck admitted still holding Eddie thinking about going back in.

"I can. We see the others every day and if I look back it's been like this for a while. I felt like this."

"Let's go inside. The kids are probably already back in. I want to play with Chris's new jeep. He said he loved it because it looks like mine."

Eddie grabbed Buck's hand and led him in. They were joined at the hip like usual the rest of the afternoon. Christopher was as happy as could be and they were too.

Buck felt like this was what he'd been looking for for so long. They'd work together to make this relationship last. He was in it and he knew Eddie was too. "You feeling good Buck?" Athena asked sitting next to him.

"Better than I've ever been." Buck told her with a smile and he meant it. "Merry Christmas Athena"

"Merry Christmas Buck." She hugged him as Christopher came over with his new drone.

"Cool bud. But you know your not supposed to play with it in doors right?"

"I know buck. Thank you for the jeep."

"Sure thing superman." Buck scooted over for Christopher to sit between Eddie and him. He felt warmth fill him as Eddie and him listened to what Harry and Denny showed Christopher and played with him earlier.

[jennymayg13]

The War On Christmas - The Try Guys

So after listening to the latest Tripod episode, I decided to write out the plot summary of their Christmas film from whatever sense I could make out of it.

Cast:

Red Santa - The Rock

Blue Santa - Vin Diesel

Jingle - Jonathan Van Ness

Young Jingle - Lachlan Watson

Gay - Billy Porter

Ruby the Reindeer - Cardy B

Grandparents - John Lithgow, Glenn Close, Alan Alda, Betty White

Sleigh - Sean Bean

Silver - Joan Cusack

Aunt - Scarlett Johanson

Jeffrey - Paul Rudd

Salvation Army Man -  Bernard Cribbins

Whole Santa and Narrator - Jerry Seinfeld

Long ago Santa was forgotten. The pagan spirit was fleeting and belief in Santa was fading away, with his holiday season being replaced by newer religions and beliefs. He could feel it in his heart, that the people had forgotten him and he slowly fell to the ground and lay on his side and closed his eyes. That night the snow built up around Santa and soon he was half-buried in the icy cold snow.

Several years later Christmas had taken hold of the world, what started off as a simple day had exploded into an entire season that invaded the months outside of December. The Bells family were preparing for their Eight Christmasses. Silver, Sleigh, and their child Jingle were to visit each individual grandparent as they were all divorced, their Aunt and Uncle who was in the army, cousin Jeffrey who had just started University, the Salvation Army guy who otherwise spends Christmas alone, and their little family Christmas where the kids would jump on the beds and be excited about presents. Jingle was searching the house for hidden presents when they came upon an old book that told the legend of Santa, and how when he disappeared Christmas became very chaotic. Jingle thought this was very sad and wished for Santa to come back. Little did Jingle know that at that moment, their belief and wish breathed life back into Santa.

He emerged from his resting place half blue from where he had frozen in the snow and half red where he had been preserved by the magic of Christmas. He looked upon the world and what it had become and was so distraught that he split into two Santas, Blue and Red. Blue was disgusted how Christmas had invaded the days of Hanukkah and how disappointed his mother would be, and Red was horrified by the commercialism that had taken over the holiday. Instead of the magical benevolent spirit that Jingle thought they were wishing back to life, they had created two creatures whose sole purpose was to eradicate what Christmas had become, by eradicating all humans. The Santas decided they would destroy all the humans and over the next few years waged a war on Christmas. Jewish Blue Santa and Zombie Red Santa build the cult of the guild of mall Santas who develop their own belief that Christians are ruining Hanukkah and vow to kill them all. They sacrifice themselves as Zombie Santa zombifies them and gives them the ability to turn more people into Zombies.

Jingle’s family didn’t take much notice of what was happening around them and instead prepared for their eight Christmases once again. They would be visiting each grandparent who had now all remarried, their aunt who lost her husband in the war, cousin Jeffrey who had just returned from his PhD programme, the Salvation Army man who still didn’t have any other friends or family, as well as their small family Christmas, even though the children were now all grown adults. Unbeknownst to them, their family had been protected as Jingle had been the one to awaken the Santas, and the book that Jingle still had was protecting their family from the Zombies. The Santas caught on to this and decided to take Jingle and their family out personally. When Jingle and their family went to their first Christmas at Silver’s mother’s house things were pretty normal for the most part with political discussions and arguments over life choices. They soon realised the time and had to leave to go to their next Christmas at Silver’s father’s house. Just after leaving Blue Santa found the house, poured buckets of paint over everyone and electrocuted all who were still inside ‘home alone style’. At the next house, Silver’s father was already drunk and immediately started asking Jingle when they would be settling down and starting a family. Silver’s father had owned a bookstore in town that had recently been shut down due to the building of a new bookstore across from their house and he wasn’t happy about it. Jingle and their parents left to make it to their next Christmas at Sleigh’s father’s house. As the left Silver’s father noticed that the bulldozers were working outside and making too much noise so in his drunken state decided to go out and shout at them. As he did, the bulldozer turned towards him and drove over him and into the house crushing all who remained. Red Santa got out of the bulldozer and searched, but they had missed Jingle again.

At the next Christmas number 3 with Sleigh’s father, they immediately get into an argument over allowing Jingle to be non-binary and the family decide to leave. After they leave, he hallucinates a world where he didn’t exist and everyone was much happier than when he did exist and he goes insane thinking about it and then fades away and Blue Santa looks on with glee. When they make it to Christmas number 4, Sleigh’s mother has prepared a large Christmas feast which they all eat happily and then leave for their next visit. After they leave, Sleigh’s mother is clearing the leftover food away when she finds a small present left on the table, she unwraps it and finds a small bottle of brandy. She takes a swig and immediately drops down dead. Poison wrapped with a red bow.

When they get to their aunt’s house she had invited a number of the other widowed military spouses to join them. They are all singing around the fire for a short while before they decide they need to get to their cousin Jeffrey's. After they leave Blue Santa enters the home and shoots them all. Deciding to take a more direct approach this time, but he had missed Jingle once again. Jeffrey was already talking about the PhD he had just finished a few moments into their arrival. After an hour of Jeffrey telling the family of his study on Christmas’s origins and how he theorised that it would need Santa’s own magic to rejoin the two, they decided to leave, not buying into the myth of the two Santas. Red Santa came down Jeffrey’s chimney and into his home. Rather than be afraid, Jeffrey was so excited that he began to interview Red Santa. Red Santa became so annoyed by him that he threw him into the unlit fireplace and he was fired up and out of the chimney As Silver, Sleigh, and Jingle reached their street they came across the Salvation Army man still ringing his bell in the street, although something seemed a little off with him. As they drew closer they noticed that he had gone very pale and had an awful smell about him. He turned to face them started to moan and had a glazed look in his eyes. Sleigh remarked that he thought he had hit the Christmas Whiskey a bit too hard this year and was best to leave him to it. When they returned home they went to open their presents around the tree, saving the last bit of Christmas for themselves. At that moment there was a large explosion in the distance and all in one moment Jingle was enveloped in white light and burning heat. When the light was gone, everything around them was destroyed and burning from a nuclear explosion. Jingle had no idea how they were still alive. The Santas appeared before Jingle, shocked that they were still alive. Jingle vowed to stop the Santas if it was the last thing they ever did. Years passed as the Santas ruled the broken world, with Jingle unaging, researching how to defeat them.

Now as the last living beings on earth must try to stop the Santas. Gay the last elf, Ruby the Reindeer with red laser eyes, and Jingle, the bisexual, non-binary, last human. The human population had all been zombified and the only way to revive them is to rejoin the two Santas. Jingle was in love with both Ruby and Gay, but would not let this distract from their mission. Along their journey, the Santas tried to thwart them by triggering a virgin pregnancy in Jingle, but they didn’t let this stop them. When they finally reached the two Santas Jingle gave birth to a baby who they named Jesus. Jesus was born with some of the Christmas magic and combined the two Santa’s back together. Jingle, Gay and Ruby then lived happily as a polyamorous couple, knowing that they saved the world and raised the baby together.

As people heard and told the story of how Jesus saved Christmas the story became warped until someone wrote the version they had heard in a book. By the time this was written the details had changed somewhat. Gay was now Joseph, Jingle was now Mary, and Ruby was a donkey who carried them. The legend of Santa became an entirely separate story, but they both still ruminated around this one day. December 25th.

[findmeinpops]

FindMeInPops’ 12 Days of Ficmas: Day Six - A Cynic’s Christmas (Part One of Two)

Part Two is here.

It’s that time of year again where I try to pump out a drabble or one-shot for each of the twelve days leading up to Christmas! I have a couple already written but some of them will be written by prompt and on request - I have a prompt list that I’ll reblog now, if you want to take a look - so bare with for any editing errors! Enjoy, my loves, and have a happy festive season :)

And quick note, if anyone prefers AO3, the link to my 2019 12 Days of Ficmas collection is here. x

Prompts:

No. 40 - “Wait, you’re not going home for Christmas?”

No. 13 - Person A hates Christmas because they’ve never had a good one. So Person B goes all out to make this the best Christmas for them.

Ship(s): totally platonic Sweet Pea x Female!Reader

Rating: T (for swearing, please correct me if I’m wrong)

CW(s): cynicism, making light of deceased family, alcohol, swearing

Reindeer Games: Blitzen - Holidays

A/N: this is going to be a two-parter, folks. It’s going to be a long-un’ and I had not a lot of time to write both parts before this went out. Enjoy x

Y/N sighed, flopping back onto her bed, hands spread wide over her head in despair. Her mother had asked, no, demanded that she come ‘home’ for Christmas like she had done every year for the three years she had been at university. And, like every year, Y/N truly did not want to go but did not have a worthy excuse to give her mother for why she had to stay in the apartment she and Sweet Pea rented near her university campus.

“Just don’t go.” Sweet Pea told her, sat on top of her desk despite there being a perfectly good chair not even one metre away. “You don’t want to go, you never want to go, but you force yourself to go for no other reason than to torture yourself. Just don’t go.” He shrugged, switching his phone off and instead choosing to watch Y/N argue with herself for the tenth time that day, just this time she was surrounded by piles of clothes.

“My mother forces me.” She corrected before releasing another over-dramatic sigh, if only it were as simple as Sweet Pea made it seem.

“Your mother doesn’t force you, she’s not even in the country. What’s she going to do? Fly over here and drag you back to California by your ear?”

“Please, my mother coming to England?” Y/N sat up, knocking a pile of dresses onto the floor. “She would not risk the weather, especially not in December.” She dramatically emphasised ‘December’ - a winter in England was considered the devil by Y/N’s mother. God forbid the temperature gets below ten degrees.

“She’s English.” He stated with his signature emotionless tone and expression.

It had taken a month after he moved in for Y/N to get Sweet Pea to show anything that nearly resembled a smile. Now he did not hold back his emotions much when he was just around her, when they were in public was a different matter, but Y/N learned that emotionless was just his default expression. Just like her default expression was a friendly, approachable smile.

“She is but she took one step into California and never looked back.” Y/N stood up, beginning to pace through the center of the room. “Literally, she had all of her stuff shipped over before the end of the first week.”

“You’re going to wear a hole in the carpet.”

“The floor’s wooden.” Y/N stopped in front of him, an eyebrow raised.

“It got you to stand still didn’t it?” He jibed, raising an eyebrow back.

“Oh shut up.” She began to pace again, her hands clasped and her fingers worrying one another.

“Would you please stop?” Exasperation began to leak into his tone with maybe just a hint of genuine concern.

“I do not want to go. I hate her. I love her but I hate her. I do not want to spend Christmas with her. Y’know,” she stopped again, hands still clasped, “she will expect me to move there by the end of the two weeks. She will be surprised if she does not find my boxes at her front door by the second of January, taking into account holiday shipping delays of course. Y’know...” and she began to pace again.

Having enough of her meltdown, Sweet Pea pushed himself off of the desk, striding over to Y/N and grasping her by the tops of her arms.

“For the love of God, stay fucking still!” He exclaimed, releasing her arms but fixing her with a pointed glare. “I’ve told you so many times, just stay here. We can just get pissed and watch telly.”

“Wait, you’re not going home for Christmas?”

“All my family are dead.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. Sweet Pea always went for shock value, loving to watch the way people squirmed when he emotionlessly announced that his entire family was dead without warning, and it worked for the first three times with Y/N - she wasn’t a sociopath after all. But after two and a half years of living in close proximity with Sweet Pea, she was now completely desensitised to his antics.

“I know that but what about your friends? Or just having Christmas in your hometown?”

“My friends all hate me and my hometown is a dump.” He countered, taking a few steps back before lifting himself onto the desk again - she had given up on reprimanding him for it a while ago.

“Well I know that’s not true,” she paused, “the first bit anyway - goddamn Riverdale is falling apart.” Y/N had visited with him once and, after seeing the photos of how the town used to look, was horrified at how it had been left to run itself into the ground. The local diner was the most heartbreaking, now empty and ripped apart. The trailer park on the outskirts, where Sweet Pea had lived, was one of the only parts still standing, the gang he was born into going strong but simply did not have the funds to rebuild the town to its former glory. Unbeknownst to Sweet Pea, Y/N had every intention of donating a hefty sum of money in a few months when her trust fund finally came through.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “It’s fine, Y/N. I’m happy to stay here. Christmas is an awful time where companies milk the world dry, the rich thrive, the poor are miserable and everybody pretends to enjoy themselves whilst Uncle Sam gets completely drunk and vomits all over the Christmas turkey.”

“Well,” Y/N started, used to Sweet Pea’s eternal cynicism, “the rich do that all the time, not just at Christmas, we can try our best to save the world but Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you shouldn’t let that stop you from having an awesome Christmas.” Then she gave him a pointed look. “Plus, you don’t have an Uncle Sam because, as you love to remind everyone, he’s dead.”

‘Touche’ was all that Sweet Pea offered in return, allowing his legs to swing slightly over the edge of the desk.

“So what are you actually doing for Christmas?” Y/N persisted. “Are any of your friends staying back? Can you celebrate with them?”

“I don’t have any friends.”

“You have me.”

“And you’re going back to England.”

Y/N sighed. When Sweet Pea was in one of these moods, getting answers was like trying to get blood from a stone, and he was usually determined to force her into his negative view of the world. Most of the time he would be somewhat of a pessimist, particularly in front of strangers but, as with the expressionless facade, the constant pessimism and cynicism faded somewhat as the pair established a friendship. However, when he was in one of these moods, he would argue black was white and that the world was evil and everyone should die, just to watch you get frustrated.

“Are you seriously not doing anything for Christmas? I can stay, if you want?” She offered.

“If you really don’t want to go, then don’t go, she can’t force you, but don't stay for me. Christmas sucks, it has always sucked and it always will, there’s nothing that can be done about it.” He stated matter-of-factly, shrugging again.

“You hate Christmas?” Y/N asked dumbfounded. She guessed she should have known this already, what with his shitty childhood, she could understand the reasoning but to hear him actually say it seemed to shock her. She herself was an avid Christmas fan, to be best friends with an anti-Christmasser was a bizarre concept.

On the first of December, Y/N had gone to the local Christmas tree farm and bought a six-foot tree to sit in the apartment entranceway. She knew she wasn’t going to spend Christmas in the country but she needed her home to have some element of festiveness, even if she would not be here on the actual day to appreciate it. Sweet Pea had persuaded her not to decorate the entire house as ‘what’s the point in spending so much on decorations when you won’t fucking be here’.

What he had not yet grasped though, is Y/N had too much money; she was one of the lucky ones, or unlucky, depending on how you see it. She came from a long-line of rich, white, upper-classmen and so when her mother gave her a £2500 weekly allowance, on top of paying for necessities and the upkeep of their apartment, she would not struggle to afford to deck out the whole place as she wanted. Half of the allowance already went to local charities but anymore than that and her mother began to ask questions. Her mother looked down on the poor, or anyone who could not afford to have a solid gold toilet; she was a horrible person with no empathy and it was for that reason that Y/N did not want to spend her festive period at her estate in California.

“Yes, I hate Christmas.” He stated. “For all of the reasons I just told you.”

“I’m staying.” She decided.

“Okay.”

“I’m staying and you are going to have the best Christmas ever.” She crossed her arms defiantly whilst her mind was already organising a list of everything she needed to do and get to make this the greatest experience for Sweet Pea. It was the afternoon of the twenty-third, but with her expertise, she was fairly certain she could get it done.

“No, Y/N, plea-” Sweet Pea tried to protest but was already half-defeated.

Anyone who knew Y/N knew that she was a force to be reckoned with once she had her mind set. It would take gale force winds or perhaps the apocalypse to stop her.

The idea was kind of sweet, Sweet Pea supposed, but involved far too much time and money being spent for only his benefit. Plus, he knew how her mother was and she would more than disapprove of her daughter spending so much for no true reason.

“Sorry, I can’t seem to hear you.” Y/N exclaimed as she ran from the room to where her handbag sat on a table beside the tree in the hallway.

“Y/N!” He called, following swiftly after her.

“Still can’t quite hear you!” She cried, pulling open the front door before stopping and turning to shout back to Sweet Pea. “I’m heading out for a while, don’t wait up!” And with that, she was out the door, shutting it with a slam, leaving a very confused Sweet Pea in her wake.

[universitychallenged]

University Challenge 2019/20 Episode 19

It has come to my attention (via Glasgow’s Cat McAllister on Twitter) that – of course! – the teams get to have professional hair and make-up. My experience of this when judging BBC Young Musician last year involved being caked in foundation, eyeshadow and eyeliner up to, and indeed upon, the eyeball, so that I was involuntarily weeping during the string finalists’ recitals and looked unnaturally distraught by Lutosławski’s Sacher Variation for solo ‘cello. After this I asked to do my own. So kudos to any of the UniChall contestants bold enough to shun hair and make-up and go with their own bold/au naturel looks!* I shall forthwith never rubbish anyone’s appearance again and be only docility and appreciation.

* UPDATE. Am reliably informed by a previous contestant that only touch-ups are offered, as opposed to the full works. SO NOW YOU KNOW.

Glasgow: 145

Courtauld Institute: 180

Team Vibe: Courtauld Institute: Superhero art historians

Glasgow: Slightly startled bystanders

Grandad Count: Glasgow’s average age was a horrifying 28, with Whitworth bringing it home for the olds.

Gender Diversity Count: A girl a-piece.

Style News: Marvellous, actually! Glasgow’s Whitcomb was wearing a Teens of Denial T-shirt (an album by US indie rock band Car Seat Headrest, and yes readers, I did have to look that up); McAllister was a vision in red; Courtauld’s Silver had a pleasing floral shirt; and his teammate Collinge looked like she was fresh from an early evening at Taboo in London, 1986, with her burnt orange blouse, silken tie and matching eyeshadow:

 But HOLD EVERYTHING! Courtauld’s Captain Prance’s jumper was all of our Christmasses come at once! Like Prancer and Dancer had got lost in a room full of art deco vases:

Cult Hero Of The Episode: Captain Prance, all the way! He’s delightful. Not only is he studying for a PhD in Middle Byzantine Eucharistic objects but he was on it with tons of starters, from Norman Foster to French translations of English novel-titles, Gerhard Richter to Murukami. I liked him doggedly guessing ‘Perseids’ in the constellation bonuses until it was finally correct. Here’s his Twitter profile, for extra kudos:

Also, take a second to appreciate Courtauld’s mascot above, giving voodoo evils to Jeremy for being mean to art historians.

Handsome Person of the Episode: SCOTS! I have a penchant for Scottish men, and chunky dark-coloured jumpers are perfectly allowed if they are encasing a Scottish man, so Glasgow’s Captain McRobert was doing it for me. Until, after conferring futilely with his team over a bonus question, he said ‘we haven’t a Scooby,’ and my heart-eyes promptly dimmed. Let’s give it instead to his right-hand woman McAllister in all her ruby lusciousness, clearly making more judicious use of hair and make-up than me!

Horror Bonus Question: ‘Your bonuses, Courtauld, are on Nature’s 10, a list published annually by the scientific journal Nature of people who made a significant impact on the world in the preceding year. Firstly, Masayo Takahashi featured in 2014 for pioneering the treatment of human retinal damage with epithelial cells obtained from the pluripotent type of which undifferentiated cells?’

Regular Classical Fail By Composition PhD-owning Composer, Kerry Andrew: Pop music concept albums! A dream come true for pop concept album-loving Kerry! Except that Courtauld’s Silver, who spent much of the match beaming adorably whilst questions flew by, buzzed in after exactly 0.57 seconds of Kendrick Lamar (OK, I wouldn’t have got this). I also failed to be quicker than Collinge in identifying Janelle Monáe (even though I know that album well and am in love with her) and Kate Tempest (even though she was in my tutor group at the BRIT School). GAH!

Dream Bonus Question Round: Film directors who also directed music videos! Huzzah! I could not drum up Michel Gondry from my stultified brain but got 2 of 3. And 3 out of 4 in the nude self-portraits! I should have been far better on the weasel bonus round, but just kept shouting ‘STOAT!’ until it came to pass.

Jezza-Watch: Let’s have a look at Jez’s grudge towards art historians, shall we? At the start he was over-egging Courtauld’s ‘sheer incredulity’ over winning their last match even though not recognising a painting in their own gallery. Yes, hilarious and all, but it’s perfectly common for a student to fail to get questions right on their own subjects; I don’t think he berates scientists and mathematicians QUITE so much. You can learn quite a lot through art history, you know: politics, philosophy, history, geography, sociology, etc. But no! Jezzo congratulated Courtauld on their win with ‘who’d have thought that a life devoted to watching . . . pop videos and the like would have been so fruitful?’ 

Kerry’s and Andy’s Score: 19 questions right, grossing 125 points, so QUITE GOOD.

Brain Food: My crab, rocket, avocado and caper salad with homemade rocket pesto.

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